Cologne 🇩🇪

The morning started with another big breakfast; a classy European feast in Funk Haus. Multiple plates of meats, cheeses, breads and fruit – what more could you want! The OJ was even served in wine glasses.

The first place you have to visit in Cologne is its magnificent cathedral; said to be Germany’s most visited attraction and the tallest twin spired church in the world. It’s free to enter so a walk around the inside is definitely worth it to see the impressive interior and stained glass windows.

The next must do in Cologne is walk across the Hohenzollern Bridge – the busiest railway and pedestrian bridge in Germany. Also famous for the ridiculous amount of padlocks attached to it! The views of the cathedral on the other side are fantastic. Whilst on this side of the bridge it is definitely worth heading up the Cologne triangle for 360° views of the city.

Due to no cafe at the top of the triangle, and us always being hungry, we headed to the Lindt cafe for a hot chocolate and cake. There is an option to go around the chocolate museum, however once you’ve done Cadbury World.. you’ve basically done them all 😉

It was then time to check out the markets, and Cologne has loads to offer as they are dotted all around the city. All of them offer something slightly different and there are plenty of activities to enjoy, such as ice skating and curling. This market experience was all about cheese – we had raclette and cheese and mushroom panini topped with sour cream. We were treated to a brass band playing Christmas music and it was just a lovely atmosphere.

As we were walking back to the hotel we heard some interesting music coming from a pub, so decided to head in to see what it was all about. It certainly was interesting! Papa Joe’s Jazz Lokal was full of bizarre pictures of naked women, quirky antiques and musical marionnetes that will play a tune for some cheeky Euros. We had no idea what was being played half the time, but the German’s were singing along and having the best time. Mark got his first stein of the trip, which was half froth! The perfect way to finish today was a trip to Maccies to add to our World Tour – shrimps and peppered chips. Absolutely delish.

We’ve really enjoyed Cologne! There’s enough tourist attractions to keep you going for a few days, loads of bars and restaurants, 100s of shops and the Christmas markets were just magical.

Düsseldorf 🇩🇪

In December 2020 we had planned a festive mini break to Frankfurt – but covid had other ideas. We then planned the trip again for December 2021, but Frankfurt decided to massively scale back their market due to covid. So this year came, and we thought sod it – let’s do a trip around Germany and visit multiple markets! Over the next 8 days we will be starting in Düsseldorf and finishing in Munich, with a cheeky nip over the border into Austria.

As our flight was a late one from Manchester, we decided to kill time by going to the Trafford Centre first. We had totally forgotten that the Black Friday sales were on, so parking was an absolute nightmare! It was a treat however to see Troy from ‘The Greeters Guild’ getting everyone into the festive spirit. We arrived at Manchester Airport far too early (see Steve.. I’m learning!) but being an evening flight the check in area and security was absolutely dead. That was until we got into the pub on the other side where all the fans from Wales were sat having a drink before their flight to Doha.

The flight to Düsseldorf was super speedy, and from landing to getting bags was only 20 minutes! It was far too late to explore so it was straight to bed ready to see the city the following day.

We are both lovers of a good breakfast and online recommendations suggested 7 Sundays – a recommendation we will also now give as it was absolutely delicious. It became apparent that Düsseldorf is a very quiet city as there was hardly anybody about! We also very quickly learnt the etiquette of waiting for the green man at a crossing, even if there is no traffic at all.

Towering above the city is the Rhine Tower, which gives fantastic views for miles. We could clearly make out the skyline of Cologne- our next destination. Another bonus is the cafe at the top, so it would be rude to not try one of the cakes on offer. Mark being the big football fan he is meant we had to make time for the England game, so we found an Irish pub (we’ve found that they’re usually the best atmosphere for sporting events) and settled in with a beer, gin and watched the boys win. Lovely assist from Callum Wilson 😉

It was then time to try out what we had come for – the markets! At the end of all the blogs we will rate the markets in order. Like the rest of the city, the markets were really quiet, but this meant no queues! Every cloud.. The plan is to try as much different foods as possible, so we started with reibekuchen with apple sauce. It was absolutely delicious 😋 and I 100% recommend getting one of these at a German market. We also had that German classic, Thai chicken soup 🤣 washed down with Glühwein (which we plan on drinking plenty of this trip). After watching the ice skaters and a few more beers it was time for the next course – crepes, smothered in Nutella obvs.

After a ridiculously long day it was time to catch the train to Cologne. Armed with our valid tickets we were confident that there was no reason for a telling off as we travelled on the U-Bahn.. wrong! A very angry policeman banged on the window with an aggressive finger wag as we hadn’t even noted that the rest of the train were all wearing masks 😷Research suggested that German trains are easy to navigate and always on time.. also wrong! After delays and platform changes we eventually got on the right train to Cologne.

Naples… eventually 🇮🇹

It’s our last day 😭 This morning we were all ready to tackle the local train to Herculaneum, enjoy a leisurely stroll there, head to Naples on the train and then back to Sorrento later this evening. This is however how our morning went…

  1. Arrive at the train station to be informed there is a strike until at least 1pm. When we were talking to the guide yesterday about getting the train, at no point did she mention this!
  2. Walk to get a boat ticket for 12pm boat to Naples. Everyone else had clearly done this too as this boat was sold out.
  3. Walked to an excursion office to try and book onto the trip to Vesuvius – this was cancelled.
  4. Debated bus to Ravelo but another couple in the group did this a few days ago and struggled to get back to Sorrento and paid €80 for a taxi.
  5. Walked back to train station to assess.. at 12pm the queue for tickets was at least a mile long. Decided if trains did decide to run they would be packed.
  6. Ordered tickets online for 2pm boat to Naples and 5:15pm return. Time to plan super quick whip around Naples.

We had already got 10k steps in by midday! As we had a few hours to kill before the boat we decided do the last mooch of Sorrento. The city walls close at 1pm so we’ve always missed our chance to go, but today we managed to explore them. Although it’s only a very small section of the wall you actually get to walk on, it’s still worth it even to get a better perspective of the local life going on below. We also found a little garden full of fruit trees that we seem to have missed, even though we’ve walked by 100s of times.

All the other boats we have been on have offered an inside and outside deck and we’ve always opted for the outside as the views are amazing. This however was very obviously a commuter boat, but being at the front of the queue (Momma does not like to be late) meant we got pick of the seats, so we chose the front to get views out the front and side windows. Unfortunately this was also where people had to store their luggage, so we ended up with a fantastic view of everyone’s cases instead!

Case Tetris got worse than this…

Finally at 2:45pm we arrived in Naples, giving us just over 2hrs to whip round and explore. You 100% need so much more time here. It’s not a city you can do in such a short amount of time as its the third largest in Italy. We headed for Galleria Umberto – an enormous shopping area with a domed glass and steel roof. It was here that I was finally able to add Italy to my Maccies World Tour (there’s approx 100 counties with one and I’ve now ticked off number 25 🍟🍔)

A short walk from here, and an ideal if you’re short on time is Piazza del Plebiscito and The Royal Palace. The Palace grounds are huge however and you’d certainly need more than the 5 minutes we had to properly take it all in.

The last area we had time to explore was the Spanish quarter, one of the city’s most densely populated areas. This is probably where Naples gets its reputation for being dirty and full of dodgy characters, but I quite liked wandering the streets and seeing washing hanging from all the balconies, the graffiti and hidden taverns. You do however need eyes in the back of your head as locals literally fly around the streets on their scooters.

After a quick look at the castle it was back to the boat to head back to Sorrento for our last supper. I have to say, although the portion sizes have been questionable, our small but quirky family run hotel have delivered fantastic flavours (and tonight was one of the meatiest sausages I’ve ever had!)

Alarms are set for stupid o’clock tomorrow to get the bus back to the airport (at least we’re not relying on trains!) We have had a fantastic week with gorgeous weather, gorgeous food and beyond gorgeous wine. Santa has enjoyed a daily Tennants (or 3) and Momma has enjoyed taking 1000s of photos 📸 As long as you can put up with crowds, people with no concept of queuing and the odd twitchy arse road, then the Amalfi Coast is definitely one to add to your list 😍

Capri 🇮🇹

This morning we woke up to a cooler temperature which is far more common for this time of year here. We’ve been so lucky with the weather so far (such a British thing to say!) however rain is forecast for tomorrow, so you all know which important item will be packed!! Today promised to be one of the highlights of the trip and we all excitedly boarded the boat ready for a full day exploring Capri. First impressions – wow this place is beyond busy! Our group started the day in Anacapri, much higher up the island. We boarded the minibus and took the crazy road up to the top where we got our first beautiful viewpoint.

As it’s the definitely the law when you come to Capri to go on the chair lift, and as the queue was relatively short, we jumped on for the gentle 15 minute ride to Monte Solaro – the highest peak on Capri. Here you get 360° views and when the cloud eventually disappears.. they are stunning. Using public toilets anywhere requires payment, usually 50c, however the ones here were €1. I was therefore expecting world class facilities. I have used many dodgy toilets on my travels, however these have got to be one of the worst! Paddling my way through piddle and paper to get to the toilet, a stench to nearly knock you out, no locks and nearly getting exposed to the whole queue, I recommend you hold on! Wouldn’t even give these 1* on TripAdvisor 🧻

Saw this… made me laugh as I’m immature. New Stars Wars character maybe? 🤣

As we love a viewpoint, and Capri is full of them, we headed to Augustus Gardens. Here you can see Via Krupp – the historical hairpin turn paved footpath, built for a ridiculously wealthy German who wanted an easier route down to his boat from his ridiculously expensive hotel room (or as it also turned out, the route to a secret grotto for sex parties!) You can also get fantastic views of The Stacks (Faraglioni). I would happily have spent much longer here as it was an escape from the mental streets a short walk from the gardens, however as ever coach tours = tight time schedules.

Capri is constantly visited by celebrities – JLo was there last month dancing on the tables apparently! So we headed to the street with all the designer and luxury boutiques in the hope of spotting somebody exiting. As it’s one of the most concentrated areas of fashion boutiques in the World, the walk doesn’t take long at all. Unfortunately we didn’t spot anyone, although someone from our group was convinced they had spotted Richard Gere!

It was then time for the fun part.. finding somewhere for lunch. We found a lovely cafe overlooking the sea, but Santa nearly fell off his chair when they told him a small bottle of Peroni was €10. Basically, you need to sell a kidney for a day on Capri! We did however enjoy a lovely pizza and focaccia.. and a coke zero. We had one last mooch around the streets and a quick stop at the beach before it was time to get the boat back to Sorrento. Capri wasn’t quite how I imagined it to be.. don’t get me wrong I still enjoyed it, but I really don’t get the hype. Luckily we were there when it was a quieter period as I dread to think how awful it would be to try and walk anywhere in the height of the summer.

As creatures of habit, this evening was back to one of our favourite bars to watch the sunset. Due to the amount of cloud the sunset was non-existent, however we were treated to an unexpected firework display and I had a lovely glass of local wine 🍷

Terrible photo 🎆

Portion sizes are slowly improving…

Could potentially be a difficult sleep tonight… neighbours are on the balcony, post sesh, munching on crisps and singing to George Ezra 😬

Amalfi Drive 🇮🇹

This morning was another super early get up ready for a day of driving and exploring. We had a taster of the Amalfi Drive when we took the bus to Positano, but today we travelled much further along, nearly completing the 50km of twists and turns. Luckily we were sat down for this one and not being flung around the bus, however Momma decided to sit on the side with the sheer drop, making the whole journey extra twitchy as one wrong move would send us plunging into the sapphire Tyrrhenian Sea far below. Thank god for Giuseppe the expert bus driver 👍🏻

Our first stop today was the town of Amalfi. I’ve seen loads of people walking around with giant lemons eating sorbet out of them, so I set out to find one. Luckily there are shops everywhere in Amalfi that sell them! Unfortunately I got far too excited and ordered 3 without asking how much they actually were. I was buzzing with my bargain when I was convinced he had said €13, however it became very apparent when I gave him €20 and he just stared at me like I’d just shat on his sorbet, that he had actually said €30. That’s €30 for a bit of sorbet wedged in a giant lemon 🍋 whilst it was actually very refreshing, the heat made it melt super quick so I ended up with incredibly sticky fingers (and toes as half of it dripped into my flip flop)

Back to Amalfi itself.. and it’s a gorgeous part of the coastline full of bars, cafés, shops and a big cathedral. You can catch a boat here if you don’t fancy taking on the Amalfi Drive (also FYI… its highly advised that tourists DO NOT hire a car and do it themselves!) There is a lot of hustle and bustle, but it continues with the tradition of pretty colourful buildings wedged into a tiny amount of space, with a maze of streets and passageways.

The next leg was by boat as we headed to Maiori, and it was apparent how many others don’t appreciate the British love of a queue. There is always a constant battle to be on the correct side of the boat, and Momma who was armed with her Nikon made sure nobody else pushed in, meaning we got a seat on the left hand side of the boat – the side with the views.

Maiori is much less touristy – it has a lovely beach and a gorgeous church with a colourful domed roof. It’s also very flat making it a much more accessible place. We decided to get some lunch and stopped in one of the cafes – Santa asked for a beer and the waiter came out with a cake instead! This was our sign to move on and we stumbled across a ‘pub’. This was evidently a local pub for local people, but they sold Peroni so this is where we stayed. The food was actually very nice and very reasonably priced (lunch inc beer was cheaper than all the lemons 🍋) but Santa decided all the local pigeons looked peckish, and lobbed some of his sarnie to their waiting beaks.

Once back in Sorrento, we made the long trek to the supermarket to stock up on Coke Zero, Tennants and Milka cookies for when we fancied a snack. We went for our obligatory sunset drinks and headed back to the hotel for dinner. Momma decided on the vegetarian option which was described as lettuce and tomato salad – she should have learnt from the cucumber salad in Croatia! Pudding was grapes 🍇 Santa was sad they weren’t squashed and in a bottle!

Pompeii 🌋 🇮🇹

Normal order was restored for the coach trip as we were up at 6:30 ready for a super early pick up for our trip to Pompeii. We were lucky as we had a very knowledgeable guide taking us around – but we did look like the ultimate tourist wankers as we donned the headset and followed the umbrella 🌂

A little history lesson for you all… Pompeii is famous because it was destroyed in 79 AD when the nearby volcano, Mt Vesuvius, erupted, covering it in at least 19 feet (6 metres) of ash and other volcanic debris. The cities and their citizens were discovered in the 16th Century, and they remained exactly as they had that summer day, frozen in time. The bodies of Pompeii victims had been covered in layers of fine ash that calcified over the centuries, forming a type of protective shell. When the skin and tissue of the Pompeii bodies eventually decayed, all that was left were voids in the layer of ash around them — in the exact shape of the victims in their final moments.

Made from pouring plaster into the air pockets, letting it harden and then chipping away the outer layers of ash.

There is so much to see here and I would 100% recommend a guided tour. There are many options, from 2 – 7hrs of walking. Although it’s incredibly busy, and at times hard to really take it all in, it is an absolute must in you are in the area. A particular highlight is hearing the word Penis mentioned at least 100 times whilst on the tour. They believed that having a phallus outside the home acted as a good luck charm (other theories suggest you followed the direction of the penis to the nearest brothel) either way I’m definitely going to have a massive peen on the wall outside my house 🍆

This afternoon was a guided bus tour around Naples. I’m going to choose not to write about this as we spent most of the time stuck in traffic, so didn’t really get to see much – Santa and Momma therefore took this opportunity to get a few Z’s in 😴 we did however get a very quick 10 mins to jump out the coach, grab a photo and a super tasty ice cream.

This evening we went back to the bar we sniffed out yesterday for a drink and views of the sunset. It was absolutely glorious and definitely somewhere we will return to during this trip. There is nothing better than sitting with a glass of white with a stunning view and some free nuts and crisps.

Tonights dinner, feat pudding which is also available at breakfast 🍧

Positano & Sorrento 🇮🇹

This morning we decided to try out public transport and take the bus to Positano – a beautiful cliffside village. The bus arrived and it was absolutely packed. This however worked to our advantage as we got shoved on so quickly we didn’t get chance to pay! The journey was an incredibly sweaty one and can only be described as like being on a rollercoaster. We flew around the many twists and turns of the Amalfi drive (whilst the driver was on the phone!) and I spent most of the ride smacking the lady sat down by me in the face with my bag. Although the views were incredible, we were holding on for dear life and were very happy when we arrived for some fresh air.

Bus stop views

Positano is an absolute must for anyone in this area. It’s full of charming zigzag streets selling everything from limoncello to colourful ceramics, pastel buildings stacked on top of each other and a pebble beach with turquoise water. It is however an incredibly touristy place, so much so that it is said we as tourists outnumber the locals three-to-one! As it’s always 5 o’clock somewhere, we sat down at a lovely boozer overlooking the sea and enjoyed a beer and a cocktail at a very eye-watering price. I even managed to force Momma to have a Sex on the Beach 🍹

We managed to find a smaller and much less crowded pebble beach called Fornillo where me and Santa decided to go for a paddle. Unfortunately we made the error of not wearing water shoes and went barefoot instead, one of the most painful experiences of my life!

For the trip back to Sorrento we decided to go in style, and for €15pp you can go by boat. This is much less crowded and gives another perspective to the incredible coastline, as well as plenty of photos ops should you be sat in the right place!

Boat views

This afternoon we were back to familiar territory and explored more of Sorrento’s bustling streets and busy squares. I purchased a gorgeous bread basket with a lemon pattern (it’s actually pretty terrible and Mark is only just finding out about this 🤣 but it was cheap) which I cannot wait to use when I eventually get round to hosting a sophisticated evening 😀 Santa was keen to get back to the supermarket we visited yesterday as he had spotted a 12% can which he throughly enjoyed this evening after his lounge by the pool.

A quieter corner of Sorrento!

We’re really lucky with the location of our hotel as we are right next to one of the best places for a sunset in Sorrento. Unfortunately we were just a bit too late this evening, but the sky was still a glorious colour, and we’ve certainly sniffed out the bar we will be going to tomorrow night.

As is going to be custom with this blog… here is the food for tonight! Inc finger for scale.. 🤣

Sorrento 🇮🇹

Another blog can only mean one thing… another coach trip! For months we had been planning a classic Spanish adventure, but a month ago we were told this trip could no longer go ahead. We frantically searched the Newmarket Holidays adventure database and decided to give the Amalfi Coast a try instead! As it was a super early start from Manchester, we chose to stay in Sale Travelodge. Close enough that you get a lie in, but far enough away that you get it much cheaper than onsite hotels.

The whole process at MAN was super quick. We purchased car parking with free speedy security, which I will now be getting every time I go to an airport! Less than half hr from arriving to being in departures.. what an absolute treat! So much time for breakfast, a leisurely shop and a whisky sesh for Santa before boarding my 1000th Easyjet flight of the year.

Our super speedy pilot landed us early, and that together with the super speedy passport control and having our bags off first meant we were in good spirits and ready to go. Unfortunately being with a coach tour means you have to wait for everyone, including definite Karen and her friend who were stood at the wrong baggage carrousel, meaning we were all waiting around for over an hour. I was pleased to see that as always, I am the youngest here by at least 100 years.

Unlike most of these types of holidays, today was a free day, meaning we could explore Sorrento on our own. A gorgeous 26 degrees meant it was time to whack on the shorts and suncream and head out to explore. Everywhere you go you get views of Mount Vesuvius, and I am certain I will see it from every angle possible during the next week. We had a lovely walk into town from our hotel – unfortunately I stood in a massive wet dog turd in my new white trainers 💩 (and on the walk back, it was evident that many more people had done the same thing) which made me sad, so I had to stop at a lovely cafe for something tasty to cheer me up.

As I am getting with the times, research for this trip now included TikTok videos (in all seriousness, there’s so much inspo on there!) so we headed for Bagni Regina Giovanna – Scenic ruins of a Roman villa with coastal views & a secluded beach. It turns out this wasn’t a special find as there was loads of people here, but it was still so beautiful to see and the views were stunning.

Oh look! Vesuvius again 😉

It was a fair trek back to our hotel, which was incredibly twitchy arse at times as it involved walking along main roads with no pavements and crazy bus drivers.. but we made it! Santa popped into the local supermarket where he found a Tennants Extra which he enjoyed on the balcony this evening. Dinner at the hotel was a questionable affair.. thank god for the Milka cookies we had earlier!

At least I will return thin.. every cloud!

Day 10 – Reykjavik 🇮🇸

So today was our last full day 😭 and before we headed for the capital we had a little drive around Akranes where we stayed last night. It has two lighthouses; one of the oldest concrete lighthouse in Iceland, and a newer bigger one which is open to the public. The town even has an Irish Day in July where they have a competition to see who has the reddest hair. Unfortunately both times I’ve been here, I’ve just missed out on definitely winning this prize 🤣

I’m very lucky that I’ve been to Iceland before, in fact this is now my third visit to Reykjavik! Mark is a Reykjavik virgin, so was excited to show him the best it has to offer. We started off by visiting a highly rated bakery – Brauð & Co. The cinnamon buns here are beyond incredible. Fresh, warm and delicious. The vanilla and raspberry croissant was also a taste sensation.

We also chose to toast the trip with a few beverages, and Reykjavik is full of Happy Hour’s, which is handy due to the price of alcohol (and everything else!) here. We headed to Lebowski Bar for wine, beer and cocktails, and a basket of mozzarella sticks just to keep us going. They were playing Jurassic Park on the big screen, which made us laugh as it reminded us of the farting man is Husavik.

When I came with momma back in 2014 we had the most amazing fish and chips, so after walking around we finally found the same restaurant, and again had the most amazing fish and chips.

There is so much to see and do in Reykjavik and it is a perfect base to explore Iceland if road tripping isn’t your thing. Our original plan for our last night was to stay at the Happy Campers campsite and then taxi it to the airport in the early hours, however we decided to treat ourselves and book a hotel by the airport. We have loved the campervan life, but being in a proper bed with our own shower was beyond heaven. Thank god for booking.com

The airport run this morning was relatively smooth, however I got accused of pushing in when I got into the speedy boarding queue (which I had paid for!) by an awful lady I’m going to call Karen. I even apologised that I was going in front of her, to which she replied ‘Sorry! You’re not sorry at all’. Ok Karen.. next time pay and then you can get through quicker. I very happily walked past Karen and boarded the plane before she did, in my speedy boarding queue.

Day 9 – The Snæfellsnes Peninsula 🇮🇸

We were in for another day of clocking up the miles, so after a couple of pots of Skyr and a bowl of frosties, we prepped the flasks with plenty of coffee and hit the road to get us back out the Westfjords. On the drive yesterday we spotted a shipwreck, but we’re unable to get a closer look due to someone blocking the entrance to the parking area, however today it was empty so we had a quick investigate. It is thought to be the oldest steel ship in Iceland and has been at this location since 1981. It is now in a bit of a sorry state and is far too unsafe to actually get on, but it still makes for some dramatic photography.

We left the Westfjords and headed to familiar territory for me.. the Snæfellsnes Peninsula. It was also time for another diesel run, and again the PAYG pump refused my card.. such a pain! It was therefore only right that to ease the stress, we got a service station hottdog 🌭 The first stop on the peninsula was Kirkjufell, said to be the most photographed mountain in the country. Again another GoT location – Beyond the wall from season 7. It’s distinctive shape and Kirkjufellsfoss at the front makes the whole area very dramatic.

Next stop was Saxhóll crater, which was much easier reach the top in comparison to the crater earlier in the week. The landscape it has created is incredible and the views over the mossy lava fields below are mind-blowing.

As the peninsula is a relatively small area, there is so much you can see and do in a day, and so our next stop was an ancient fishing village called Hellnar, with views over to Mt Stapafell. Some Icelanders believe this place is a favourite for elves! It’s the perfect place to sit with a picnic (when the weather allows) and watch the world go by. There is also the option to do a coastal walk to the next village – Arnarstapi, however as we both exhausted we decided to just drive it instead.

It was back to the van for our next stop, a giant crack you can see from the road. Rauðfelsdsgja gorge is easily accessible in the summer months and is a short hike from the car park. It’s another small scramble to get into the gorge itself, but its well worth the potential soggy shoe. On our way back to the van we noticed a group of people, and one of them dislocated his shoulder! Luckily the ambulance was just pulling up (although who knows where the nearest A&E is 🤷‍♀️) so Mark didn’t have to jump in and be a hero.

Our last stop on the peninsula was the black wooden church Búðakirkja. Located within a lava field, it is a fantastic building to photograph whatever the weather. I have been here twice and both times have been totally different and I can’t decide which conditions I prefer. Again it’s another peaceful location and somewhere you could spend all day exploring the surroundings.

Tonights base is another campsite overlooking the sea in the town of Akranes. Whilst doing the washing up we spotted the campsites local resident curled up on top of the dryer getting shelter from the rain. After a quick fuss it was back to the van to get some sleep before our last full day in Iceland 😭