Phnom Penh 🇰🇭

So far, we’ve been travelling everywhere by plane, but today, as we head into Cambodia, we’re going by bus. The journey to the border was uneventful, but the border itself was an absolute nightmare. As a group, we had to decide whether to support the corruption and slip some money into our passport, or not give anything and risk being stuck at the border for hours. As we were keen to get going, we decided to put $2 in and hope for the best. We got into 2 queues, and people were trying to push past, and everyone was shouting at each other. We all had to put our elbows out and block people with bags at one point. Someone managed to sneak past in our queue and gave the guard about 20 passports and a large wad of cash, therefore meaning we had no chance of getting through any time soon. We left that queue and joined the others from the group, and our leader passed all our passports to the guard. Around the same time as we joined, a group of Canadian mature ladies tried to get passed. As I got to the front, the guard kept saying I hadn’t put my Vietnam visa in, which I 100% had! I, therefore, had to find it on my phone whilst I had a Canadian woman in my ear making comments about me delaying her. In the end, I told her to shut up and that she was a silly old woman 😬 not my finest moment.. but she deserved it! I managed to find my visa, and they let us through. You then have a 10 minute walk across ‘no man’s land’ to get to the next set of checks. The guards here were very pleasant, and this next leg went quickly and smoothly. We were now in Cambodia! We stopped for some lunch where I had my first taste of the local dish Loklak – beef fried rice with an egg on top. It was actually very nice! Mark had noodle soup, which had some suspicious looking balls on the top…

We had a minibus waiting for us to take us to our first city – Phnom Penh. I don’t really know what I was expecting, but it certainly wasn’t high rise buildings, casinos and Rolls Royce cars! Turns out the Chinese have put a lot of money into PP over the last few years which is why the main areas now look like that. Locals however are not allowed to use the casinos. We dropped our bags off and met our guide for the evening cyclo tour of the city. This was such a fun experience and a great way to see all the main landmarks, and as the sun set, the amount of money that’s been put into PP became more apparent. The city dazzles with lights, flashy signs and even more expensive cars. The Royal Palace was also complete lit up with gold light, which apparently doesn’t happen very often, so we were very lucky to see this. We walked back to the hotel after a lovely dinner with the group and it became very apparent about the rich and poor divide. Expensive cars on one street, and begging people on another.

As a little warning, the next part of the blog is about the killing field and the S21 prison. I’m going to be graphic, and also include a few photos. It’s very upsetting so you may want to scroll past. Travel isn’t always about having fun and exploring beautiful places, its also about exposing ourselves to the uncomfortable past to enhance our learning and understanding.

According to estimates, during the rule of the Khmer Rouge from 1975 to 1979, two million people (around a quarter of the whole population) lost their lives. Why? To create a classless society. If you had a degree, if you spoke another language, even if you wore glasses! All traces of capitalism were abolished. Hospitals, schools and shops were shut down. These 2 places are the most historic places in PP and stand as a cruel reminder of the atrocities inflicted upon the masses of Cambodia.

We went to the killing fields of Choeung Ek first. Just like Auschwitz, it’s quiet (apart from the chickens!), and you can feel the strange energy straight away. As you walk in, you’re met with a huge memorial stupa filled with around 5000 skulls. Each skull has a coloured dot on it, which represents the trauma they suffered, including spades, wooden clubs, bayonets, and farming hoes. Bullets were not used as this was too loud and too easy. There is a magic tree that was used to hang speakers on to drown out the screaming. The next pit we came to was by far the worst – the mother and baby pit. Mothers were made to watch their newborns and children be killed, either by someone holding them by the legs and smashing their head around a tree or throwing them in the air and catching them on spikes. This was done so they couldn’t take revenge for their parents’ death. The mother was then brutally killed, sometimes having their throat cut using the rough part of a palm tree, and they were thrown into the pit together, often with no clothes on. There was not a dry eye during the explanation of this pit. You can hang a bright bracelet on the tree as a sign of remembrance, but there are also children’s toys and bottles, etc, around the bottom. In 1980, remains were exhumed, but 43 of the 129 communal graves remain untouched. During the rainy season, bones, teeth, and clothes come to the surface. These are collected by people who work there and put them into memorial boxes. As you leave, there is a memorial statue of a mother holding her baby. Where I work, there is a similar statue, but one symbolising the happiness and joy of a new life. This really affected me, to think that I am privileged to be there at the start, and these awful people took new, and all lives, in such a disgusting and inhumane way.

We then went to Security Prison 21 (S21), the site of a former secondary school. This became the largest centre of detention and torture in the country. Over 17,000 people held here were taken to Choeung Ek to be executed; detainees who died during torture were buried in mass graves in the prison grounds. Like the Nazis at the concentration camps, they kept records of what they did, often taking photos of the victims after their death. Each prisoner who passed through S21 had their photo taken which are on display. The cells at the prison are open to visitors and they still have the same beds (if you were ‘lucky’ enough to get one) and shackles in place, and even blood stains on the floor. If you had a smaller cell, you were shackled to the wall or concrete floor, and those in large mass cells were shackled to a long piece of iron bar. The all slept on the floor next to each other without mats, mosquito nets or blankets. They were forbidden to talk to each other. Prisoners received 4 small spoonfuls of rice porridge daily. They had strict regulations and received beatings if they disobeyed. If they spilt any contents of their very small toilet box (which they could only empty every 4 days) they had to clean it up using their tongue. When they were taken for interrogation, they were beaten, electrocuted and cut with knives in order to get them to name family members and close associates, who were then also tortured and killed. The vast majority of prisoners were Cambodian, but some were foreigners including one British and two Australian. They were blindfolded and burned alive.
On the day the prison was liberated by the Vietnamese army, of the estimated 20,000 people imprisoned, there was only 12 survivors; 5 of those were children. They found 14 others who had been tortured to death, still shackled in bed, and their individual graves are in the grounds of the prison.

2 of the prisoners are still alive today, and they were both at the prison that day for us to meet. One of them is Bou Meng, who is now 87 years old. He was kept alive because he is an artist and was able to produce portraits of the Khmer Rouge leader, Pol Pot. He was also tortured on a regular basis but given more food and water to keep him alive as he was useful to them. When he arrived at the prison, they took his wife and two children away, and he later learned that they had all been killed; his wife had her throat cut and his children of starvation. He was regularly beaten and had salt water rubbed into his wounds. Guards would sit on his back and make him crawl up the stairs. He has no teeth left after he was regularly kicked in the face. As he’s an artist, he has drawn everything that happened to him and the other prisoners. We bought a copy of his book, which he signed for us. I don’t know how mentally he could step back into the prison grounds again, but he’s made it his duty to make sure that people never forget the horror that went on during those years and use his memory as a tool in the search of truth and justice.

After an incredibly draining morning, we were brought back to Phnom Penh centre for some free time. It’s hard to know what to do with yourself after such an emotional morning. We decided to grab some food at a highly rated bagel shop and go for a drink at a local brewery, and have time to gather our thoughts and reflect on what we had seen. As we hadn’t had much time in PP itself, we decided to have a quick look at the Silver Pagoda as a Google search said it was free. It wasn’t… as it’s part of the Royal Palace grounds, you have to pay $10 to get in. It’s a huge complex and one we would have liked to have spent much longer in, but we that evening we had a boat ride with the group for sunset so we had to rush back to get ready. It was beautiful. We had drinks and fresh fruit and was a great way to watch the hustle and bustle on the river and on land, too. The next challenge was finding somewhere to eat.. the first place we tried was extortionate, the 2nd place had cow’s penis and all sorts of weird and wonderful on the menu, so we settled for ‘The Pub’. It’s always suspicious when there are minimal people in there, but we had a great time! The food was great, the drinks were cheap, and the owners were so friendly and welcoming. It was then back to the hotel to pack, and get ready for the long drive to Siem Reap in the morning.

Ho Chi Minh City 🇻🇳

We left Hoi An early and had another really smooth journey, check in and security. Mark decided to treat himself to a pint of Tiger.. because its 5pm somewhere! Luckily we had some emergency face masks as this was the first time we were required to wear them. I’d decided to book us an aisle and middle seat, just in case Mark needed to stretch his legs out, and we were waiting for the window seat passenger to arrive. It was an old Vietnamese boy, and before we could even get up to let him in, he started trying to climb on and over us to get to his seat! Luckily the crew also stopped him and let us get out to let him in, when he then decided to take his shoes off and put his feet up on the seat in front!

We got picked up at the airport and were quickly back into the crazy hustle and bustle of the big cities of Vietnam. The bikes flying around everywhere like mosquitoes. We got dropped off at our guest house which unfortunately had no lift.. so in the mega heat and with super heavy bags we climbed the stairs to our room at the top of the building. It was a super cute room with lovely decor, and great working aircon!

We hadn’t really done much research on HCMC as we knew we would be arriving late afternoon and not have much free time in the city itself. Tiktok suggested ‘the cafe apartments’. You arrive and have absolutely no clue which door to go in, then climb some dodgy looking stairs, but we eventually found Saigon Ơi – a little gem full of house plants, books, refreshing drinks and delicious red velvet cake 😋 as the sun was setting we decided to go up the skydeck to see the city in both day and night – an observation deck on the 49th floor of the Bitexco Financial Tower. You could see for miles, but they could have done with cleaning the windows 🤣

Before heading to Maccies, we decided to have a quick look at their Notre Dame cathedral. It’s always worth checking Google first, as it’s currently closed and the entire thing is covered in scaffolding 😬 We got to Maccies and put in our order, including a side of rice.. because when in Vietnam! We were enjoying our feast when the man next to me lifted his arse and farted.. loudly. And then just carried on eating as if nothing had happened. I literally couldn’t believe the audacity. We finished up and headed back out onto the street, which was now full of street performers, and cats on leads! There were dancers, fire eaters, singers, etc, as well as people whipping around on segways and skateboards. It really was a bustling hive of activity. On our way back to the guest house, we accidently took a wrong turning and ended up down a street with a suspiciously large amount of women, wearing red lip stick and not an awful lot else…

As we all know, Mark is obsessed with football, and during our stay Newcastle were playing Bournemouth. Due to the time difference, this meant they were playing at 00:30 our time. We headed to pub street which was just down the road from our hotel, and settled down in front of the big screen. Some bars put a non-optional 5% service charge, and the service in this particular bar was beyond awful. We asked for the cheapest beer but got brought more expensive beer, already opened, and walked off when you told them it was wrong, and when we came to pay they didn’t give us any change (it wasn’t a lot but that’s not the point)

After having hardly any sleep, we were made breakfast pancakes by our host and it was fit to burst with fruit. It was delicious! But we struggled to eat all of it, and she definitely looked very sad about this. It was another early start because we were visiting the Cu Chi tunnels. A tunnel network initially built within 25 years from 1948 during the war against the French, and later extended over an area of 250 kilometers during the Vietnam War.On the way we had a toilet stop, which was also a centre for people who were affected by Agent Orange. Among the Vietnamese, exposure to this is considered to be the cause of an abnormally high incidence of miscarriages, skin diseases, cancers, birth defects, and congenital malformations. Whilst it was interesting to learn about, it felt an unnecessary stop to watch ‘handicapped’ people make stuff that they tried to get you to buy after. We arrived at the site and it was absolutely heaving, with large groups of school children everywhere. We were taken by our guide to start the tour, however the school children kept walking past, being really loud and grabbing onto our arms to ask us where we were from – not what we wanted when we were trying to listen! It was time to head into our first tunnel around 3 meters underground, with some being less than 1M high. The next tunnel was ‘the proper one’, where you go into a small hole bringing the lid down with you. The route out of here was luckily a short one, but incredibly dark and narrow and you really had to feel around for where you were going. We then had the opportunity to go to ‘level 2’, around 6M deep and even lower in height. This meant crawling on hands and knees. We were given the option for level 3, but we decided to give this one a miss. We were given the food they would eat, tapioca root with a side of crushed peanuts and sugar, which really wasn’t very nice. The Vietnam War was a prominent events of the 20th century and crawling through these Cu Chi Tunnels is a unique experience, one which if you’re not claustrophobic, you have to do.

For the middle leg of our trip, we decided to book with G Adventures, as we just wouldn’t have had time to sort everything in the short amount of planning time we had. We grabbed out bags from the guest house and walked across the city to the hotel where the group was staying. We met our tour guide and we realised we were joining a tour that had already been together for 10 days. Luckily they were all really lovely and welcomed us into the group. We all went out for dinner as some of their group were leaving in Vietnam which was a lovely way to get to know everyone, and then headed to a sky bar. We didn’t realise how posh it was, and flip flops were not allowed. We managed to sneak by in our Teva’s, but some of the group were given shoes to wear. It was a fantastic view from the top, but the views came with a hefty drink price tag, so we took a few photos and abandoned ship to go and get an early night.

The last day in HCMC was a trip to the Mekong Delta. We boarded a boat to the first island, where we were given lots of delicious fruit and we’re treated to some Vietnamese singing, including them singing if you’re happy and you know it 🤣 the next island was bee island, which Mark was chuffed about as he absolutely hates them 🐝 we were given shots of honey and other honey treats, and they did a great sales pitch but we just couldn’t be tempted. We then jumped on a boat and got rowed by local people to a coconut candy shop. Again, delicious, but we just don’t have any space in any of our bags! We weren’t really looking forward to this as lots of people had said how crowded and rushed the whole thing is, but we had a really lovely day out .

We had our last night in HCMC in one of the local breweries – Heart of Darkness. We had burgers and nachos (which were huge portions), and Mark enjoyed a beer flight. Again, this had the service charge, which was absolutely terrible service, but we let them off (just) because the food was so nice.

HCMC is a big and busy city, but at least you can walk on the pavements, unlike Hanoi. We actually liked the buzz at night around all the street performers, and there are so many bars and restaurants to choose from.

Hoi An 🇻🇳

We got back from Ninh Binh quite late, so we decided to head out for some food at a restaurant our guide had recommended.. which obviously was closed by the time we got there 🤣 so we decided to go to a restaurant a few doors down that looked busy. We ordered the BBQ plate where you’re given a plate of meat and veg and cook it all yourself. The waiter brought everything we needed, including a pot of some orange jelly. We thought this was pudding.. it was actually the stuff you set of fire. The flavours were really nice, but the pork had a really strange crunchy texture. Would this be our first bit of food poisoning?! (You’ll be pleased to know that all was well) We had read there was a really cool Harry Potter bar, and as Mark is a fan, we decided to check it out. We got there, and there was only one other couple in there, but it was a bit of a trek, so we decided to stay for Mark to try out the Butterbeer. It was much better than the one at HP Studios, but still absolutely foul 🤣 the waitress was really strange. Shuffling around and not smiling at all. We’re not sure if this was part of an act or if she was just desperate to get home. They did have a dressing up box, though!

We woke up to the wettest day yet in Hanoi and jumped in a taxi to the airport. Again, this was incredibly smooth, and we were checked in and through security in no time. This meant we could relax in one of the coffee shops, and finally have a decent latte! I just do not know how anyone can enjoy Vietnamese coffee. We boarded the plane which had a rather pissy aroma about it, and Mark squashed his super long BFG legs into the tiny space. Just over an hour later and we had landed at Da Nang airport, got our bags and jumped in the next taxi to Hoi An – our home for the next few days. We finally had sun and blue sky 💙

One of the must do things in Hoi An is having some clothes tailor-made. We checked into our hotel and set out to find the one recommended by our hotel. The whole process was really fun. You can either take photos of designs you like or search through their hundreds of pictures of clothes. You choose which fabric you want and then get measured. Mark went to choose his fabric, and because he was scared of the sales woman, he ended up picking material for another shirt and a pair of trousers. Over the next 2 days, we popped back a few times for extra fittings, having things taken in, buttons and poppers added, etc, and we’re both really pleased with our final garments. I’ve always struggled to get shorts to fit due to my super large thighs, but I’ve now got a jazzy linen pair that fit so well and are the perfect length to avoid chub rub.

Hoi An old town is a UNESCO site, meaning you get to see some beautiful and well-preserved buildings. The town reflects a fusion of indigenous and foreign cultures (principally Chinese and Japanese with later European influences). It should also mean a scooter free zone.. however, the locals are obviously not arsed about observing this rule 🤣 if you want to go inside any of the buildings, you need to buy a ticket that allows you to pick 5 ‘attractions’. One of the ones we chose was a really interesting old family house, and I was dreading it would be like one of those awkward National Trust house tours. Luckily, it was a quick tour from one of the owners, and we actually saw loads in such a short space of time. We learnt about the different styles of architecture, and they showed us a huge coin collection the family had collected over the years, which they believe brings them luck. We also had the mystery solved of why temples etc have such a huge step to get in – it’s so you have to look down to see where you’re going, which means you are automatically bowing your head.

Another must do in Hoi An is the basket boat tour. You wear the obligatory hat, and they take you down the river in the special boats used to access small, shallow, and interlaced waterways that are hard or inaccessible for common boats. They do some spinning performances to techno music 🤣 and our guide encouraged us to get in and have a go. You get so dizzy, and you really have to hold on tight otherwise you could fly off the back into the water. But it was a fun experience. We had a go at paddling the boat (which is harder than it looks) and catching some crabs (which were put back after) It was such a cheap and fun activity to do and one we would recommend to everyone.

Hoi An is ideally placed just 5km from the beach, and what better way to get there than to hire some bikes and cycle there. This did, however, mean joining the crazy traffic to get out of the old town and onto the quieter road to the beach, which was certainly an experience and one that made the bum twitch a few times. It’s such a lovely ride to the beach past the rice fields and seeing all the locals at work. The beach was great, and as long as you buy a drink at one of the many bars, you’re able to use the lounger for free. We stayed for a few hours to enjoy the sun we had now finally got. There’s also plenty of watersports if that’s your thing. After the beach we decided to try another recommended restaurant – White Rose Restaurant. They only serve 2 dishes, meaning they are absolutely delicious. We tried both – the white rose dumpling made from translucent white dough and filled with shrimp and fried wonton (Hoi An pizza) with shrimp, tomato, and mango.

Night time in Hoi An is colourful and busy, with lanterns lit up everywhere. We loved walking the streets at night and seeing all the 100s of bars and restaurants to choose from. We decided not to take a boat ride, instead sitting at a bar with a live band (with some questionable songs) and watching the world go bar. It also meant we had a great view of all the street food carts, which we were 100% not going to visit 🤣

We had one more day left in Hoi An, and decided to take a trip to Marble Mountain in Da Nang – a network of caves, tunnels, towers, and pagodas built by Mahayana Buddhists and the Nguyen Dynasty Kings. As we’ve had rubbish luck with viewpoints, we decided to brave the 32-degree heat and climb to the top. Unfortunately, they are building right in front of the water, so instead of seeing for miles, we saw a hotel erection instead. We’re so glad we had this a guided tour as we learnt so much from him, and he was really keen to learn about us and life in England as well.

Next, we visited the Goddess of Mercy. In the leaflet, it said she’s the highest Buddha in Vietnam, so we assumed that meant we would we going up a big mountain. It actually meant she’s the tallest 🤣 at 67 metres tall! It’s also known as Monkey Mountain, and we were lucky to see lots of monkeys running around and playing with each other. The public have been banned from feeding them for a number of years now (and covid also helped), so at least they weren’t surrounding us trying to snatch things out of the bag!

We really fancied something to eat that didn’t involve soy sauce or coriander, and luckily, Hoi An is full of western restaurants. We chose a pizza with mozzarella sticks and watched a local Hanoi derby on the TV. As much as we’ve loved trying all the different foods, it really was much needed.

Hoi An has been a dream. We even looked at changing our flight to HCMC to a later one to give us longer there, but unfortunately it would have cost too much 😔 it has so much charm about it and it’s so easy to see why people fall in love with it.

Ninh Binh 🇻🇳

We got back from Ha Long Bay yesterday afternoon where the hotel owner met us and apologised about moving us to the sister hotel, and gave us a key to a free upgraded room. After sorting all our bits out we decided we needed to do the first bit of laundry as we are quickly running out of underwear – the joys of travelling. We spoke to reception who assured us that our washing would be ready for collection at 10pm that evening… so we headed out to Hanoi Social Club; a hip cafe with antique furniture and a chill vibe. We also decided we really wanted something other than rice and soy sauce, so we ordered a pull pork sandwich and a huge bowl of nachos. They were incredible and I would 100% recommend this place to anyone coming to Hanoi, espeically if you do fancy a change from Vietnamese cuisine. They hold live music events here too.

It was now getting dark but there was one more thing left on the Hanoi list – Thang Long Citadel to tick off another UNESCO site. I knew it would be shut but I was hoping I’d get a slightly closer look at it as it looks so pretty lit up at night. Unfortunately it’s surrounded by a huge wall and multiple guards. As it was actually a fairly decent trek we decided to stop for a drink, and popped into a watering hole next to the citadel. The vibe was really creepy and the people who worked there just stood and stared at us whilst we had our drinks. After a quick browse of the menu and deciding we definitely didn’t want to join them for a salty turtle, we paid up and left. We then headed to beer street – a street full of bars and loud music! By this point it was raining.. again.. so we decided to have one to take in the atmosphere before calling it a night. We got back to the hotel just after 10 and were handed a bag of clean clothes. Unfortunately.. these were not our clothes 😬 they apologised and said that due to the weather the clothes wouldn’t be dry and to ask again the following day. Fingers crossed its not lost, otherwise we will be wearing the same pair of pants for the next 3 weeks 🤣

It was another early get up this morning as we joined another trip, this time to the Ninh Binh province. We usually get picked up by minibus, however 2 people turned up on scooters and said they were here to take us to the main pick up point. So we jumped on the back and weaved our way through the crazy traffic whilst clinging on for dear life! Our first stop was to Hoa Lu – an ancient city surrounded by the Trang An limestone mountains. As the capital of the country for 41 years, Hoa Lu has many palaces, pagodas, tombs and pavilions that were built by different dynasties. Having a guide with us meant we finally got to understand what was happening when people take beer, light incense then sit and pray in the temple – it’s a way to honor and remember their ancestors. It was a very peaceful place to walk around and I would have liked more time there, but that’s always the case with these types of trips. We then grabbed some bikes to ride through a traditional village. Unfortunately the main route they use was super wet and muddy, so it was a quick up and down the concrete paths for views of the mountains.

This afternoon, we went to Tam Coc and took a traditional river boat along the Ngo Dong river. Tam Coc means ‘three grottoes, and these include Ca cave, Hai cave and Ba cave, meaning the first, the second and the third respectively. The ride took around 2 hours, and even though it was raining, it was still lovely to sit back and enjoy the beautiful scenery. The locals even ride with their feet! Ours asked for a tip at the end, which I didn’t mind.. but he then told us how much he wanted!! So because he was being cheeky, he got half of what he asked for 🤣

Our last stop of the day was Mua cave and the 500 step climb (although it felt waaaay more than that) to the lying dragon. All of the guide books have something along the lines of “get panoramic views of Tam Coc with fields, blue rivers, and majestic limestone mountains. This combination makes a wonderful picture. ” We knew we wouldn’t get that because of the weather, but yet again, we had a cloudy rainy view. It’s also incredibly busy up at the dragon itself with long lines to get a photo. The rock steps around it are narrow and slippery, so we abandoned going up to it.

All the research said the same thing.. Vietnam is great to visit in February. I know the weather can’t be helped, but it’s been disappointing that it has so many amazing viewpoints to offer, and we’ve seen none. I even asked the guide if this is normal and she said no. I guess we’ve just been really unlucky 😔 we head to Hoi An tomorrow where the weather looks warm and dry.. so 🤞🏻it stays that way!

In other news…. we have our laundry!!!

Hạ Long Bay 🇻🇳

Before we left Ha Giang for the long slog back to Hanoi, I had a text from the manager of the hotel we were going back to offering us one of his other hotels. Due to our main luggage being at the original hotel and being picked up for Ha Long Bay from there the following day , it was a thanks, but no thanks. Turns out whoever was in the room we were due to have had the shits 👍🏻 so we agreed and arranged to have our luggage taken to the new hotel. We now had the job of letting the company know for Ha Long Bay that we had moved hotels and needed picking up from a new location. We kept thinking of all the things that could go wrong.. but luckily, nothing did! The drive back to Hanoi was nothing like our VIP bus. We were squashed into a minibus where the bloke in front of me reclined so much I couldn’t actually move my legs. They then piled bags and boxes so nobody had any chance of escape should we need it. We stopped at the same wee stop as previous (actual PTSD) and had to try and climb over all the crap they had piled in the minibus. Mark kept his shoes on, and the driver was NOT HAPPY 😬🤣 after grabbing some food, we headed back to the original minibus. Thankfully, Tu was with us, as they had taken all our bags off and put it on another minibus! As there were already lots of people on there, we were split, meaning Mark got the rear, and I got the front seat – which in Vietnam is absolutely beyond terrifying!

We arrived out the outskirts of the old town as buses can’t go in during the weekend, and set on our way to find our new hotel. This part of Hanoi seemed a little more seedy than what we had previously been in and it was also raining, so we couldn’t wait to get back. Luckily when we got there, they knew we were coming and our bags were already in the room. We were also given 30% off in their sky bar. It was just a shame we couldn’t see anything due to the heavy rain.

The following morning was a mad rush to try and pack, which was proving quite difficult with our newly purchased warm clothes and minimal space. This meant we had 5 minutes for breakfast, the usual Vietnamese cuisine and spag bol 🤷🏼‍♀️ we were picked up in a very posh minibus and began the 3-hour drive to Ha Long Bay.. in the rain 👍🏻we stopped for a break where I was surprised to find a lovely clean toilet with toilet roll! We decided to pay a bit more for a luxury cruise for the trip to Ha Long Bay, as a lot of reviews for the cheaper ones really aren’t great. And we’re so glad we did as the room and the boat were amazing.

We headed for lunch and had a delicious buffet. The staff were so friendly and helpful, pulling chairs out, pouring drinks, and doing your napkin. I thought they might start feeding me at one point! We popped back to the room before the excursion to Cat Ba Island, and Mark had a little call of nature. Unfortunately, because the window is so big, the toilet is opposite, and the other boats pass by quite closely.. it was a poo with a view.. for both parties! We headed to Trung Trang cave on Cat Ba Island; known as one of the typical and largest caves for the cave complex in Cat Ba Biosphere Reserve. It’s full of stalactites glittering under the dim light and incredibly low passageways that Mark thoroughly enjoyed crawling through. Our boat had a large group of mature people from India who insisted on taking pictures of themselves literally every 2 seconds. It was quite amusing at first, but then it just became super annoying as we were constantly having to wait for them 🙄

It was then back to the boat for happy hour. We spotted a couple where the man had a t-shirt saying, “I like it when you tell me you want me,” with a picture of his wife in a bikini on it, and giant wooden clogs.. as in the ones you buy from Amsterdam that are big enough to be a decorative wall piece. On the boat next door was a woman in a red dress, wafting around, making the person she was with get all the pics for the Gram. It really is the best for people watching! We had a cooking class, where we learnt how to make spring rolls. Unfortunately, I didn’t make my rice paper damp enough, so it was a bit chewy, and we enjoyed a happy hour of 241 cocktails.

At dinner we decided to treat ourselves to a bottle of wine, and was recommended one by the waiter. After dinner when we were looking at the cocktail menu again I thought I’d check which wine we had as it was delicious. It then dawned on me that I didn’t read all the 0s on the price list, and it turned out to be 2,200,000vnd.. which is around £78.. surely it must be an expensive bottle anyway! A quick Google check however revealed its actually a tenner in Tesco (or £8.50 with clubcard) We were then offered the chance to go squid fishing, and if anyone caught a squid you got a free beer. As we are now poor we decided to give it a go. We could see them swimming around but unfortunately nobody caught a squid. The closest anyone got was me making a squid squirt – I’m sure not many of you can say that 🤣🦑

Emergency jumper – the ones we could find had ‘inspirational quotes’ on 🤣

In the evening we were due to have a facial (which we had booked prior to expensive wine) the Indian group however fannied about so much (probably taking more photos) that our treatment got delayed by 45 minutes!! No apology from them when they came out cackling away 🙄 it was a lovely facial until the end, when they sat us up and basically beat us up by thumping us in the back. We were all relaxed and ready for bed, and I was looking forward to a nice sleep in.. until the super load Americans next door decided to talk waaaay too loudly on their balcony at 6 am about the speed of the WiFi being better because everyone was asleep… Well, not now they’re not!! We joined in with the kayaking after breakfast, which was great being able to see all the rock formations up close.

Ha Long Bay is an absolute must if you come to Vietnam. Come and see the 1,600 islands and islets, forming a spectacular seascape of limestone pillars. Because of their precipitous nature, most of the islands are uninhabited and unaffected by a human presence. It’s so beautiful, and the photos really don’t do it justice.

Having their 100000th photoshoot 📸

Ha Giang Loop 🇻🇳

Get ready… this is going to be a long one! We had said when we started planning this trip that we wouldn’t do an overnight bus or a homestay… so 3 days ago we got an overnight bus to a homestay 🤣

We knew we wanted to visit somewhere in the North of Vietnam and for weeks we couldn’t decide between Sapa or Ha Giang Loop. After reading many reviews, we decided we would give the loop a try with an easy rider, as neither of us can ride a motorbike. There are so many options, but because we’re far too old for the hostel gap yahh experience 🤣 we decided to book a small group tour and have our own room.We were picked up from our hotel and taken to a drop off point, and after much confusion we found out we had been booked onto the luxury bus transfer! This meant your own compartment within the bus, with a pillow, blanket and curtain. Mark being the BFG was far too long for his, but it was still a lot better than we had expected. About an hour after we had set off, a Vietnamese couple decided to sit underneath our cabin, and play TikTok videos.. constantly.. for about 2hrs 🙄

About 5hrs in I was absolutely desperate for a wee, but being an NHS worker I’ve usually got my bladder well trained. Cue Norway wee gate part 2 (for those of you who know that story!) I asked the driver if we could pull over and he told me 20 minutes. After about 30 and still not stopping I was about to burst! Mark then went and asked the driver when we were stopping and he was very rudely waved away. I was now at the point where I was deciding whether to wee on my spare jumper, or the blanket they had provided, as the shoe bag we had been given had a massive hole in. Luckily before that decision, we pulled up outside a dodgy looking restaurant, where I made a run for it, and was obviously met by a queue. Nobody was using the end toilet and at this point, I didn’t care why.. so I ended up trying to hold the door closed and hold my clothes out the way as a squatted and wee’d over the tiniest drain hole ever. Obviously as I was so desperate I completely missed the hole, and ended up weeing over my shoes and laces instead 👍🏻I also had no toilet roll. A low moment in life…

At 4am, and smelling of wee, we pulled up to our homestay and were taken up to our bed – an incredibly hard mattress on the floor, behind a curtain, in a room with at least 10 other people. Due to lack of sleep we really didn’t care. We got ourselves settled for a few hours kip, and that’s when the snoring, phones, bugs, buses and cockerels all started making noise 🙄

A few hours later we met our easy riders for the trip – Tu and Nguyen. These guys were the ones responsible for keeping us alive over the next 3 days! We started the morning with a big bowl of Phở. I tried so hard to use my chop sticks, but I just kept dropping everything back in the bowl and my jumper very quickly was splattered with Phở juice. We knew it would be colder up in the North.. but not as cold as it was. The weather app that said 20 degrees was a total lie as we sat shivering in the 14 degrees. But the adventure was finally happening!

Obviously as well as it being cold, it was thick fog, and this was the story for the next 3 days. We stopped at viewpoint after viewpoint, but sadly at the majority of them, we just couldn’t see anything at all. All we could do was Google ‘this is what we could have seen’. We did manage to get some breaks in the fog and thick clouds and this gave us some amazingly dramatic scenery.

We stopped for coffee and oh my days.. Vietnamese coffee is absolutely foul!! No amount of sugar or milk could make it taste nice 🤢 it also smells weird… Tu then began telling us about Weasel coffee that rich people drink in Vietnam – it is produced using the partially digested coffee cherries that are eaten by Asian palm civets and harvested from their poo 💩 One of the things that makes the Loop so interesting is the ethnic minority groups that live there. Tu was telling us that it’s not uncommon for them to have 3 children by the time they’re 20. I think he thought we would be really shocked by this statistic..

I was really looking forward to getting to the next accommodation as I was getting super tired and desperate for a nap, to the point where I accidently nodded off and headbutted my driver! He was clearly very keen to get back too; I felt like Valentino Rossi as he took some of the corners! We were taken to a restaurant with other riders and given bowls of meat, veg and rice for us to help ourselves. When we asked what one of the suspicious looking bowls was, turns out it was goats organs 👍🏻I did try the pigs ear… but I drew the line at that. The next challenge after food was working the shower, and after multiple tries to get hot water, we gave up.

After another night on a solid mattress, we were given an egg, tomato and cucumber Bánh mì, which turns out is actually a nice combo. As we were leaving to get on the bikes we could hear a weird squeeling sound – I said it sounded like pigs getting slaughtered – Tu confirmed I was correct…. we started off the day with relatively decent visibility, however that soon changed into thick fog, which made riding on the pot holed road (one to rival Worcester) an absolute nightmare. We stopped at a cafe and watched the local children go about their day, and enjoyed a fresh squeezed OJ. Nature called again and I was faced with yet another glorious toilet that I had to blast other people’s piddle off the seat with the hose provided. Around the sink was animal skulls, toothbrushes and a razor 🤷🏼‍♀️

We arrived at our next homestay and managed to have a hot shower! We sat down with other groups and tucked into another meaty feast of pork, beef and of course.. chicken feet. The family who were hosting us all were insistent on us all joining them for shots of ‘happy water’, which was gross, and karaoke. We got chatting to some lads lads lads from Sweden (who were very into singing Elvis karaoke) and it was great getting restaurant recommendations and hearing all about their travels so far.

For our last morning, we were yet again woken by more cockerels and enjoyed pancakes with a condensed milk dipping sauce! We went to the local waterfall and we finally got some blue sky and sun, so we sat for a while, taking in the beauty of our surroundings. The sun obviously didn’t last long, and it was fog as usual for the final ride back into Ha Giang town to get the bus back to Hanoi. The last leg of this ride was a long one, so our legs, back, and bum were absolutely killing by the time we got back!

You’re probably reading this thinking why on earth did they do this trip 🤣 even with the rubbish weather, the views we did manage to get were amazing, and if you do this on a clear day, I bet they’re out of this world. From staggering rice fields, luscious forests, imposing rocky cliff faces, rolling green hills, and beautiful mountain valleys. You get to see the ‘real Vietnam’ and learn about life and culture in the small agricultural villages scattered throughout the region. Watch the children playing and having the best time. Getting an easy rider allows you to see things you might not do on your own, such as The Death Cliff (don’t worry.. the rain very much put us off climbing onto it!) and other little hidden gems along the way. Even if you can ride, people have said they would have preferred an easy rider so they could enjoy their surroundings more. So if you ever come to Vietnam.. you must book this trip! Enjoy some the most unique roads, the homestaysand the happy water – “Một hai ba dzô!”

Hanoi 🇻🇳

A few months ago we decided to plan a trip to Vietnam, with the original idea being 2 weeks exploring the country. But we then had a brainwave – let’s ask for a month off instead. Luckily both places said yes! And so we were left with just one month to plan a month in Vietnam, Cambodia and Thailand.

The journey to Hanoi was surprisingly, extremely smooth. There was no traffic at all on the way to Heathrow, no queue at check in and no queue in security. We boarded the plane for the first of two flights, with the first being to Dubai. We paid for extra leg room seats which was great, however our TVs had to be stowed for take off and landing, meaning we missed out on all the POV plane camera action. The food was actually really tasty as well. The connection through Dubai airport was also a breeze, and we even had time for the obligatory McDonalds.

A few days ago I had an email asking if I wanted to upgrade to Business Class. Although relatively expensive, it was still a lot less than what it should have been, so we took the opportunity and went for it. We had champagne on arrival, a Bulgari bag full of face cream, hand cream and other toiletries, an extensive menu and cocktails whenever we fancied. The bonus for me was the lie flat bed as I cannot sleep on planes, and for the first time ever I slept for about 3hrs straight! Only to be woken up for pancakes for breakfast 🤤

Our bags were one of the first off and our taxi driver was waiting for us in arrivals. We hopped in and headed for our hotel in the old quarter of Hanoi. We also managed a free room upgrade here due to my genius level with booking.com

We headed for The Note Coffee shop which is an absolute must in Hanoi. Multiple floors completely covered in post-it notes with messages from people all over the world. We had the egg coffee – a Vietnamese speciality made from egg yolk, sugar, condensed milk and coffee. Although it had a weird consistency, it actually tasted really nice.

The other must do in Hanoi is train street. This has been closed to tourists for quite a while but has luckily now reopened. To get onto the track you either need to get past the local gangsters (as trip advisor reviews call them!) or be invited into one of the many cafés by the owners. We very quickly decided on the second option. What’s interesting about train street is that the local houses are built about a meter away from the track, and if you take just a few steps from the house, you will find yourself standing on the railway. Grabbing a seat at one of these cafés allows you to see the train pass through.

Today we’ve had another day in Hanoi and we’ve just about mastered the art of crossing the road – shut your eyes and hope for the best 🤣 the breakfast at the hotel was slightly bizarre. Mark got me to try whatever it was he was eating, saying delicious it was. This was a total lie as it was full of fish.. meaning it was really hard not to gag at the table as I tried to swallow it whole 🤢 because the coffee was also questionable, we decided to head to one of the best rated local coffee shops, however when we got there it is permanently closed…The streets today were full of women wearing pretty dresses and having photographers follow them around whilst they did some strange poses. Whatever it takes for the Gram! We had a walk around the lake and crossed The Huc Bridge into the Buddhist Ngoc Son Temple, and it was really interesting watching everyone offer money and gifts and do their prayers.

We then headed for Ho Chi Minh’s Mausoleum. Turns out the opening times online are for the complex as a whole, and to actually go inside stops at 11am.. oops! We still had a nice walk around the grounds, and after a quick Google, found out that his wishes were to be cremated.. so they did the total opposite 🤷🏼‍♀️ The last place on the list today was the Temple of Literature. It is surrounded by an ancient brick wall and consists of five courtyards in different styles.. and loads more women in dresses having their photos taken. It definitely gives you a nice break from the hustle and bustle, but like most places we’ve been so far, there are no information boards so we had no idea what we were looking at!

Hanoi is vibrant and chaotic. It’s full of street food cooking some very peculiar looking stuff.. from tanks with live frogs and fish to display cabinets with whole battered chicken, included the eyes! We’ve seen men whipping it out to pee in the street and I’ve squatted on the most foul toilet (I was desperate..) we will be returning to Hanoi later on in the week but for now.. we’re heading to what will hopefully be one of the highlights of the trip – Ha Giang Loop!

Munich 🇩🇪

Munich is absolutely huge as there is no way you can get much done in 24 hours, but we certainly did our best to cram in as much as we possibly could. We started with another quick breakfast at the highly recommended Man vs. Machine, and although small, the coffee really was of excellent quality. This, along with an apricot croissant and a cheeky market bratwurst, gave us enough energy to climb to the top of St Peters Church for views of the city. As it was a clear day, we were really lucky with how far we could see. However, if you have claustrophobia, then I wouldn’t recommend coming up here. The stairs leading to the viewing platform are incredibly narrow, and the viewing platform itself is even worse. I understand this tower wasn’t initially built for that purpose, but they take your money, don’t control how many people go up there and you spend most of your time squashed and unable to move around. We took a few photos and then came back down as it was impossible to get all the way around.. which is a massive shame. We did, however, manage to time it right, and we’re able to watch the Rathaus-Glockenspiel.

When you think of Munich, you think of beer halls. So we chose the most touristy of them all and went to Hofbräuhaus – which claims to be the world’s most famous tavern! The decor inside was amazing, but it was absolutely packed. We managed to find a seat, and to be fair to them, they asked us straight away what we wanted, and the beer arrived in no time. They also had a band playing, which really added to the atmosphere. As long as you don’t mind sharing a table with multiple other people, then you should absolutely go. They say it’s like going to London and not going to Buckingham Palace 🤷🏼‍♀️

Another must do in Munich is watch the river surfing. The Eisbach Wave is a small, 2-kilometre-long, man-made river, where loads of surfers in wetsuits tackle the waves. You can also enjoy a walk around the park, and I’m told there are plenty of pop up beer tents here in the summer. A short ride away from here on the U-Bahn brings you to the Olympic Park – constructed in 1972 for the summer Olympics. We decided to pop into BMW Welt to use their facilities before entering the park, and it actually turned out to be a very interesting place. If we had more time it’s somewhere we would definitely spend longer. The Olympic Park was covered in thick fog, it was getting dark and cold and super busy as people started arriving for a concert that was being held there that evening, so after a quick mooch round we decided to head back to the centre for more food 🐽

This evening was the big game between Germany and Spain, so we got to the pub early to guarantee entry. Even over an hour early, we were squashed right by the incredibly pissy toilets, so by half time, we decided to give up and leave and head back to Hofbräuhaus, which was now much quieter.

The following day, we were flying back to the UK, so we spent the morning getting another big breakfast and a final Glühwein before the journey back to their airport. As per usual, the trains were having major works on the lines, and that meant major delays on the trains back to the airport. We found an airport bus and decided to use that instead. We got to the airport too early for check-in, so we went for a coffee to kill some time. After around 40 mins, we decided to join the large growing queue, and it was at this point we realised the bag, with the passports in, was still on the bus…… to cut a long story short, the bag ended up at the bus depot, we found a taxi driver who was willing to drive fast (115mph to be exact!) and we managed to get checked in with 5 mins before check in closed. Obviously the man in front of us in security took each coin out of his pocket individually, and obviously passport control at the gate we needed wasn’t working so we had to run a mile to the other one… but we managed to board the plane and get home on our original flight, rather than paying nearly £400pp for the next one back to Manchester.

Innsbruck 🇦🇹

We woke up to thick fog, which is obviously perfect weather conditions when the plan is to go up a mountain 🙄 a quick Google suggested that this would be cleared by midday, so we decided to spend the morning on ground level. We headed for one of Innsbruck’s best known viewpoints – the river, the colourful houses, and the mountains as a backdrop. Along with the autumal trees, it’s an absolutely stunning location in the city. As we love good panoramic view we climbed the City tower (Stadtturm) and as promised by Google, the fog was starting to clear, meaning we got gorgeous views over the roof tops, the snow capped mountains and the hustle and bustle of the Christmas Market below.

It was time for a change of scenery to what we had been used to, so we boarded the cable car, and in just 20 minutes, you’re away from the crowds and enjoying the snow. It’s been far too long since I was somewhere like this, and it really made me miss skiing (although after everything I’ve eaten, there’s no way any of my ski gear would fit now!) Having neglected to pack my walking boots, I was hoping my Docs would have enough grip to get me to the top of the mountain. This was not the case, and I had to cling on for dear life to Mark as I was slipping all over the place. Not once but twice I went flying, the second time pulling Mark down with me 🤣 we kept getting little glimmers of the land below through occasional breaks in the cloud, but it wasn’t going to be our day to see for miles and miles. This didn’t matter as it was still magical to be up there and feel the cold wind biting at your face.

It then dawned on us that we hadn’t eaten for about 3 hours! Luckily, there was a cafe near the Hungerburg Christmas Market we had visited the day before, and we ordered a massive plate of meat and cheese and a basket of warm fresh bread. This and a glass of white wine was the treat we needed. We got the funicular back down and decided to head back into the markets to see what we had missed; however, it was absolutely heaving and by far the busiest market we have been to so far. It was very difficult trying to get anywhere with people dawdling and just stopping in front of you to take photos. As we know, I’m all for photos! But have some photo etiquette and step to the side where people aren’t walking at you with hot mugs of Glühwein. Punch seems to be the thing in Austria so we sampled one apricot and one apple, with all sorts of alcohol shoved in for added flavour. I’m glad we tried them, but it’s certainly not something we would rush back to have.

We were sad to be leaving Innsbruck as there is so much to do here and in the surrounding area, but the beauty of these flying visits is you know the places to return to for longer (bring on Austria rail adventure) and those not so much. We learnt from our previous day’s mistake and booked seats for the EC train back to Munich for our last city of the trip. Obviously someone was sat in Mark’s seat 🙄 luckily the one next to me was free, so he was stuck with me for another few hours 🤣 this train was also delayed and also changed platform, but this was relatively simple as it was only changed to the platform next door.

We arrived late into Munich – too late to pick up any market food. So we did what the locals seem to do and picked up a big, dirty döner and sat in the room with a few beverages, ready to plan what on earth we can cram into massive Munich in just 24hrs.

Frankfurt 🇩🇪

We started our final morning in Cologne with our usual.. a big breakfast! We found what promises to be one of the best breakfast/brunch places in town, and it certainly didn’t disappoint. We went for the conservatory option as inside was heaving, with blankets and heaters for warmth. Obviously our heater was broken 🤣 but we still enjoyed the vibe of the place.

Getting to Frankfurt was as usual, a nightmare. The ticket machines were broken, the ones that were working made absolutely no sense (even when put into English) and then the train we had planned to get from the main station got cancelled. This meant finding another train to hop onto to get to the station on the other side of the river, which would give us a direct train to Frankfurt.

Obligatory train self.. with compulsory masks 😷

This is now potentially an unpopular opinion….. but we really didn’t think much of Frankfurt, and it certainly isn’t a place we would rush back to. This could be partly down to where our hotel was located, which we’ve since found out is the worst place to stay 🤣 coming out the train station we were surrounded by groups of gangs, and the whole area was basically like being in skid row. We were keen to get exploring ASAP as we only had an hour of daylight left, so made a dash for the hotel, dodging the dodgy looking people. A nice bonus was that we had been given a room upgrade, which included a giant glass box in the middle of the room with the shower in it.

The walk to the river was another interesting one, as not only did the huge amount of homelessness continue, but so did the sex shops and brothels. On every corner was a building offering ‘girls girls girls’ and the whole area just felt incredibly seedy and uncomfortable. When we finally got out of this part of town we were able to enjoy the surroundings a bit more. It is totally different to the previous 2 cities due to the modern buildings and towering skyscrapers. The walk along the river was also a very pleasant one and you can really appreciate the scale of the buildings from here.

To the main event of Frankfurt and the reason we came – the market! We’ve both frequented its twin market in Birmingham over the years, but is this one better? On the whole, yes! It is located in the historical market square of Römerberg meaning it had a lovely backdrop, and stalls in a big giant circle, rather than in a line down a long street. We were treated to a brass band who played on top of the church in the square, something that only occurs on a Wednesday and Sunday. One thing it was lacking (not that we would participate as we are both terrible!) is an ice skating rink.

Food tonight was chips covered in mayo, Ketchup and onions, and Currywurst, washed down with more Glühwein and beer. It then started raining so we found shelter next to a cheese fondue stand, also selling Glühwein. The previous couple had walked away leaving their empty glasses and empty cheese fondue.. they were either rich or had no concept of handing things in to get your deposit back. We ordered our own Glühwein and waited to see if they would realise and return. They did not… you snooze you lose! So that was €16 back to us 🤷🏼‍♀️

Mark is a fan of a good Brewdog, so he was delighted to find out that Frankfurt has a Brewdog pub. We settled down and ordered his favourite – a Hazy Jane. Obviously this was out of stock! So he settled for an Elvis Juice instead, and a few local beers they recommended. As we hadn’t eaten enough already, we ordered some wings as a late night snack. Unfortunately they forgot to put the order through, and when we chased the order, the kitchen had closed. No fear! There was a Rewe to Go (basically a Tesco Express) over the road, so we popped in for a sarnie. There were a few dodgy characters who were definitely on the rob, but the staff were clearly used to this and they followed them like a hawk (I initially thought it was us they were following so was getting ready to kick off 🤣)

The walk back to the hotel was also an interesting one. To quote one website – “around the station, drug dealers can be found. Avoid drunken, strange-looking or aggressive people, particularly at night”. Mark has seen many sights on his night shifts around Birmingham, but he has never seen anything like that before! To think we had planned to stay here for a few days.. thank god for covid!