Ha Giang Loop 🇻🇳

Get ready… this is going to be a long one! We had said when we started planning this trip that we wouldn’t do an overnight bus or a homestay… so 3 days ago we got an overnight bus to a homestay 🤣

We knew we wanted to visit somewhere in the North of Vietnam and for weeks we couldn’t decide between Sapa or Ha Giang Loop. After reading many reviews, we decided we would give the loop a try with an easy rider, as neither of us can ride a motorbike. There are so many options, but because we’re far too old for the hostel gap yahh experience 🤣 we decided to book a small group tour and have our own room.We were picked up from our hotel and taken to a drop off point, and after much confusion we found out we had been booked onto the luxury bus transfer! This meant your own compartment within the bus, with a pillow, blanket and curtain. Mark being the BFG was far too long for his, but it was still a lot better than we had expected. About an hour after we had set off, a Vietnamese couple decided to sit underneath our cabin, and play TikTok videos.. constantly.. for about 2hrs 🙄

About 5hrs in I was absolutely desperate for a wee, but being an NHS worker I’ve usually got my bladder well trained. Cue Norway wee gate part 2 (for those of you who know that story!) I asked the driver if we could pull over and he told me 20 minutes. After about 30 and still not stopping I was about to burst! Mark then went and asked the driver when we were stopping and he was very rudely waved away. I was now at the point where I was deciding whether to wee on my spare jumper, or the blanket they had provided, as the shoe bag we had been given had a massive hole in. Luckily before that decision, we pulled up outside a dodgy looking restaurant, where I made a run for it, and was obviously met by a queue. Nobody was using the end toilet and at this point, I didn’t care why.. so I ended up trying to hold the door closed and hold my clothes out the way as a squatted and wee’d over the tiniest drain hole ever. Obviously as I was so desperate I completely missed the hole, and ended up weeing over my shoes and laces instead 👍🏻I also had no toilet roll. A low moment in life…

At 4am, and smelling of wee, we pulled up to our homestay and were taken up to our bed – an incredibly hard mattress on the floor, behind a curtain, in a room with at least 10 other people. Due to lack of sleep we really didn’t care. We got ourselves settled for a few hours kip, and that’s when the snoring, phones, bugs, buses and cockerels all started making noise 🙄

A few hours later we met our easy riders for the trip – Tu and Nguyen. These guys were the ones responsible for keeping us alive over the next 3 days! We started the morning with a big bowl of Phở. I tried so hard to use my chop sticks, but I just kept dropping everything back in the bowl and my jumper very quickly was splattered with Phở juice. We knew it would be colder up in the North.. but not as cold as it was. The weather app that said 20 degrees was a total lie as we sat shivering in the 14 degrees. But the adventure was finally happening!

Obviously as well as it being cold, it was thick fog, and this was the story for the next 3 days. We stopped at viewpoint after viewpoint, but sadly at the majority of them, we just couldn’t see anything at all. All we could do was Google ‘this is what we could have seen’. We did manage to get some breaks in the fog and thick clouds and this gave us some amazingly dramatic scenery.

We stopped for coffee and oh my days.. Vietnamese coffee is absolutely foul!! No amount of sugar or milk could make it taste nice 🤢 it also smells weird… Tu then began telling us about Weasel coffee that rich people drink in Vietnam – it is produced using the partially digested coffee cherries that are eaten by Asian palm civets and harvested from their poo 💩 One of the things that makes the Loop so interesting is the ethnic minority groups that live there. Tu was telling us that it’s not uncommon for them to have 3 children by the time they’re 20. I think he thought we would be really shocked by this statistic..

I was really looking forward to getting to the next accommodation as I was getting super tired and desperate for a nap, to the point where I accidently nodded off and headbutted my driver! He was clearly very keen to get back too; I felt like Valentino Rossi as he took some of the corners! We were taken to a restaurant with other riders and given bowls of meat, veg and rice for us to help ourselves. When we asked what one of the suspicious looking bowls was, turns out it was goats organs 👍🏻I did try the pigs ear… but I drew the line at that. The next challenge after food was working the shower, and after multiple tries to get hot water, we gave up.

After another night on a solid mattress, we were given an egg, tomato and cucumber Bánh mì, which turns out is actually a nice combo. As we were leaving to get on the bikes we could hear a weird squeeling sound – I said it sounded like pigs getting slaughtered – Tu confirmed I was correct…. we started off the day with relatively decent visibility, however that soon changed into thick fog, which made riding on the pot holed road (one to rival Worcester) an absolute nightmare. We stopped at a cafe and watched the local children go about their day, and enjoyed a fresh squeezed OJ. Nature called again and I was faced with yet another glorious toilet that I had to blast other people’s piddle off the seat with the hose provided. Around the sink was animal skulls, toothbrushes and a razor 🤷🏼‍♀️

We arrived at our next homestay and managed to have a hot shower! We sat down with other groups and tucked into another meaty feast of pork, beef and of course.. chicken feet. The family who were hosting us all were insistent on us all joining them for shots of ‘happy water’, which was gross, and karaoke. We got chatting to some lads lads lads from Sweden (who were very into singing Elvis karaoke) and it was great getting restaurant recommendations and hearing all about their travels so far.

For our last morning, we were yet again woken by more cockerels and enjoyed pancakes with a condensed milk dipping sauce! We went to the local waterfall and we finally got some blue sky and sun, so we sat for a while, taking in the beauty of our surroundings. The sun obviously didn’t last long, and it was fog as usual for the final ride back into Ha Giang town to get the bus back to Hanoi. The last leg of this ride was a long one, so our legs, back, and bum were absolutely killing by the time we got back!

You’re probably reading this thinking why on earth did they do this trip 🤣 even with the rubbish weather, the views we did manage to get were amazing, and if you do this on a clear day, I bet they’re out of this world. From staggering rice fields, luscious forests, imposing rocky cliff faces, rolling green hills, and beautiful mountain valleys. You get to see the ‘real Vietnam’ and learn about life and culture in the small agricultural villages scattered throughout the region. Watch the children playing and having the best time. Getting an easy rider allows you to see things you might not do on your own, such as The Death Cliff (don’t worry.. the rain very much put us off climbing onto it!) and other little hidden gems along the way. Even if you can ride, people have said they would have preferred an easy rider so they could enjoy their surroundings more. So if you ever come to Vietnam.. you must book this trip! Enjoy some the most unique roads, the homestaysand the happy water – “Một hai ba dzô!”

Hanoi 🇻🇳

A few months ago we decided to plan a trip to Vietnam, with the original idea being 2 weeks exploring the country. But we then had a brainwave – let’s ask for a month off instead. Luckily both places said yes! And so we were left with just one month to plan a month in Vietnam, Cambodia and Thailand.

The journey to Hanoi was surprisingly, extremely smooth. There was no traffic at all on the way to Heathrow, no queue at check in and no queue in security. We boarded the plane for the first of two flights, with the first being to Dubai. We paid for extra leg room seats which was great, however our TVs had to be stowed for take off and landing, meaning we missed out on all the POV plane camera action. The food was actually really tasty as well. The connection through Dubai airport was also a breeze, and we even had time for the obligatory McDonalds.

A few days ago I had an email asking if I wanted to upgrade to Business Class. Although relatively expensive, it was still a lot less than what it should have been, so we took the opportunity and went for it. We had champagne on arrival, a Bulgari bag full of face cream, hand cream and other toiletries, an extensive menu and cocktails whenever we fancied. The bonus for me was the lie flat bed as I cannot sleep on planes, and for the first time ever I slept for about 3hrs straight! Only to be woken up for pancakes for breakfast 🤤

Our bags were one of the first off and our taxi driver was waiting for us in arrivals. We hopped in and headed for our hotel in the old quarter of Hanoi. We also managed a free room upgrade here due to my genius level with booking.com

We headed for The Note Coffee shop which is an absolute must in Hanoi. Multiple floors completely covered in post-it notes with messages from people all over the world. We had the egg coffee – a Vietnamese speciality made from egg yolk, sugar, condensed milk and coffee. Although it had a weird consistency, it actually tasted really nice.

The other must do in Hanoi is train street. This has been closed to tourists for quite a while but has luckily now reopened. To get onto the track you either need to get past the local gangsters (as trip advisor reviews call them!) or be invited into one of the many cafés by the owners. We very quickly decided on the second option. What’s interesting about train street is that the local houses are built about a meter away from the track, and if you take just a few steps from the house, you will find yourself standing on the railway. Grabbing a seat at one of these cafés allows you to see the train pass through.

Today we’ve had another day in Hanoi and we’ve just about mastered the art of crossing the road – shut your eyes and hope for the best 🤣 the breakfast at the hotel was slightly bizarre. Mark got me to try whatever it was he was eating, saying delicious it was. This was a total lie as it was full of fish.. meaning it was really hard not to gag at the table as I tried to swallow it whole 🤢 because the coffee was also questionable, we decided to head to one of the best rated local coffee shops, however when we got there it is permanently closed…The streets today were full of women wearing pretty dresses and having photographers follow them around whilst they did some strange poses. Whatever it takes for the Gram! We had a walk around the lake and crossed The Huc Bridge into the Buddhist Ngoc Son Temple, and it was really interesting watching everyone offer money and gifts and do their prayers.

We then headed for Ho Chi Minh’s Mausoleum. Turns out the opening times online are for the complex as a whole, and to actually go inside stops at 11am.. oops! We still had a nice walk around the grounds, and after a quick Google, found out that his wishes were to be cremated.. so they did the total opposite 🤷🏼‍♀️ The last place on the list today was the Temple of Literature. It is surrounded by an ancient brick wall and consists of five courtyards in different styles.. and loads more women in dresses having their photos taken. It definitely gives you a nice break from the hustle and bustle, but like most places we’ve been so far, there are no information boards so we had no idea what we were looking at!

Hanoi is vibrant and chaotic. It’s full of street food cooking some very peculiar looking stuff.. from tanks with live frogs and fish to display cabinets with whole battered chicken, included the eyes! We’ve seen men whipping it out to pee in the street and I’ve squatted on the most foul toilet (I was desperate..) we will be returning to Hanoi later on in the week but for now.. we’re heading to what will hopefully be one of the highlights of the trip – Ha Giang Loop!

Munich 🇩🇪

Munich is absolutely huge as there is no way you can get much done in 24 hours, but we certainly did our best to cram in as much as we possibly could. We started with another quick breakfast at the highly recommended Man vs. Machine, and although small, the coffee really was of excellent quality. This, along with an apricot croissant and a cheeky market bratwurst, gave us enough energy to climb to the top of St Peters Church for views of the city. As it was a clear day, we were really lucky with how far we could see. However, if you have claustrophobia, then I wouldn’t recommend coming up here. The stairs leading to the viewing platform are incredibly narrow, and the viewing platform itself is even worse. I understand this tower wasn’t initially built for that purpose, but they take your money, don’t control how many people go up there and you spend most of your time squashed and unable to move around. We took a few photos and then came back down as it was impossible to get all the way around.. which is a massive shame. We did, however, manage to time it right, and we’re able to watch the Rathaus-Glockenspiel.

When you think of Munich, you think of beer halls. So we chose the most touristy of them all and went to Hofbräuhaus – which claims to be the world’s most famous tavern! The decor inside was amazing, but it was absolutely packed. We managed to find a seat, and to be fair to them, they asked us straight away what we wanted, and the beer arrived in no time. They also had a band playing, which really added to the atmosphere. As long as you don’t mind sharing a table with multiple other people, then you should absolutely go. They say it’s like going to London and not going to Buckingham Palace 🤷🏼‍♀️

Another must do in Munich is watch the river surfing. The Eisbach Wave is a small, 2-kilometre-long, man-made river, where loads of surfers in wetsuits tackle the waves. You can also enjoy a walk around the park, and I’m told there are plenty of pop up beer tents here in the summer. A short ride away from here on the U-Bahn brings you to the Olympic Park – constructed in 1972 for the summer Olympics. We decided to pop into BMW Welt to use their facilities before entering the park, and it actually turned out to be a very interesting place. If we had more time it’s somewhere we would definitely spend longer. The Olympic Park was covered in thick fog, it was getting dark and cold and super busy as people started arriving for a concert that was being held there that evening, so after a quick mooch round we decided to head back to the centre for more food 🐽

This evening was the big game between Germany and Spain, so we got to the pub early to guarantee entry. Even over an hour early, we were squashed right by the incredibly pissy toilets, so by half time, we decided to give up and leave and head back to Hofbräuhaus, which was now much quieter.

The following day, we were flying back to the UK, so we spent the morning getting another big breakfast and a final Glühwein before the journey back to their airport. As per usual, the trains were having major works on the lines, and that meant major delays on the trains back to the airport. We found an airport bus and decided to use that instead. We got to the airport too early for check-in, so we went for a coffee to kill some time. After around 40 mins, we decided to join the large growing queue, and it was at this point we realised the bag, with the passports in, was still on the bus…… to cut a long story short, the bag ended up at the bus depot, we found a taxi driver who was willing to drive fast (115mph to be exact!) and we managed to get checked in with 5 mins before check in closed. Obviously the man in front of us in security took each coin out of his pocket individually, and obviously passport control at the gate we needed wasn’t working so we had to run a mile to the other one… but we managed to board the plane and get home on our original flight, rather than paying nearly £400pp for the next one back to Manchester.

Innsbruck 🇦🇹

We woke up to thick fog, which is obviously perfect weather conditions when the plan is to go up a mountain 🙄 a quick Google suggested that this would be cleared by midday, so we decided to spend the morning on ground level. We headed for one of Innsbruck’s best known viewpoints – the river, the colourful houses, and the mountains as a backdrop. Along with the autumal trees, it’s an absolutely stunning location in the city. As we love good panoramic view we climbed the City tower (Stadtturm) and as promised by Google, the fog was starting to clear, meaning we got gorgeous views over the roof tops, the snow capped mountains and the hustle and bustle of the Christmas Market below.

It was time for a change of scenery to what we had been used to, so we boarded the cable car, and in just 20 minutes, you’re away from the crowds and enjoying the snow. It’s been far too long since I was somewhere like this, and it really made me miss skiing (although after everything I’ve eaten, there’s no way any of my ski gear would fit now!) Having neglected to pack my walking boots, I was hoping my Docs would have enough grip to get me to the top of the mountain. This was not the case, and I had to cling on for dear life to Mark as I was slipping all over the place. Not once but twice I went flying, the second time pulling Mark down with me 🤣 we kept getting little glimmers of the land below through occasional breaks in the cloud, but it wasn’t going to be our day to see for miles and miles. This didn’t matter as it was still magical to be up there and feel the cold wind biting at your face.

It then dawned on us that we hadn’t eaten for about 3 hours! Luckily, there was a cafe near the Hungerburg Christmas Market we had visited the day before, and we ordered a massive plate of meat and cheese and a basket of warm fresh bread. This and a glass of white wine was the treat we needed. We got the funicular back down and decided to head back into the markets to see what we had missed; however, it was absolutely heaving and by far the busiest market we have been to so far. It was very difficult trying to get anywhere with people dawdling and just stopping in front of you to take photos. As we know, I’m all for photos! But have some photo etiquette and step to the side where people aren’t walking at you with hot mugs of Glühwein. Punch seems to be the thing in Austria so we sampled one apricot and one apple, with all sorts of alcohol shoved in for added flavour. I’m glad we tried them, but it’s certainly not something we would rush back to have.

We were sad to be leaving Innsbruck as there is so much to do here and in the surrounding area, but the beauty of these flying visits is you know the places to return to for longer (bring on Austria rail adventure) and those not so much. We learnt from our previous day’s mistake and booked seats for the EC train back to Munich for our last city of the trip. Obviously someone was sat in Mark’s seat 🙄 luckily the one next to me was free, so he was stuck with me for another few hours 🤣 this train was also delayed and also changed platform, but this was relatively simple as it was only changed to the platform next door.

We arrived late into Munich – too late to pick up any market food. So we did what the locals seem to do and picked up a big, dirty döner and sat in the room with a few beverages, ready to plan what on earth we can cram into massive Munich in just 24hrs.

Frankfurt 🇩🇪

We started our final morning in Cologne with our usual.. a big breakfast! We found what promises to be one of the best breakfast/brunch places in town, and it certainly didn’t disappoint. We went for the conservatory option as inside was heaving, with blankets and heaters for warmth. Obviously our heater was broken 🤣 but we still enjoyed the vibe of the place.

Getting to Frankfurt was as usual, a nightmare. The ticket machines were broken, the ones that were working made absolutely no sense (even when put into English) and then the train we had planned to get from the main station got cancelled. This meant finding another train to hop onto to get to the station on the other side of the river, which would give us a direct train to Frankfurt.

Obligatory train self.. with compulsory masks 😷

This is now potentially an unpopular opinion….. but we really didn’t think much of Frankfurt, and it certainly isn’t a place we would rush back to. This could be partly down to where our hotel was located, which we’ve since found out is the worst place to stay 🤣 coming out the train station we were surrounded by groups of gangs, and the whole area was basically like being in skid row. We were keen to get exploring ASAP as we only had an hour of daylight left, so made a dash for the hotel, dodging the dodgy looking people. A nice bonus was that we had been given a room upgrade, which included a giant glass box in the middle of the room with the shower in it.

The walk to the river was another interesting one, as not only did the huge amount of homelessness continue, but so did the sex shops and brothels. On every corner was a building offering ‘girls girls girls’ and the whole area just felt incredibly seedy and uncomfortable. When we finally got out of this part of town we were able to enjoy the surroundings a bit more. It is totally different to the previous 2 cities due to the modern buildings and towering skyscrapers. The walk along the river was also a very pleasant one and you can really appreciate the scale of the buildings from here.

To the main event of Frankfurt and the reason we came – the market! We’ve both frequented its twin market in Birmingham over the years, but is this one better? On the whole, yes! It is located in the historical market square of Römerberg meaning it had a lovely backdrop, and stalls in a big giant circle, rather than in a line down a long street. We were treated to a brass band who played on top of the church in the square, something that only occurs on a Wednesday and Sunday. One thing it was lacking (not that we would participate as we are both terrible!) is an ice skating rink.

Food tonight was chips covered in mayo, Ketchup and onions, and Currywurst, washed down with more Glühwein and beer. It then started raining so we found shelter next to a cheese fondue stand, also selling Glühwein. The previous couple had walked away leaving their empty glasses and empty cheese fondue.. they were either rich or had no concept of handing things in to get your deposit back. We ordered our own Glühwein and waited to see if they would realise and return. They did not… you snooze you lose! So that was €16 back to us 🤷🏼‍♀️

Mark is a fan of a good Brewdog, so he was delighted to find out that Frankfurt has a Brewdog pub. We settled down and ordered his favourite – a Hazy Jane. Obviously this was out of stock! So he settled for an Elvis Juice instead, and a few local beers they recommended. As we hadn’t eaten enough already, we ordered some wings as a late night snack. Unfortunately they forgot to put the order through, and when we chased the order, the kitchen had closed. No fear! There was a Rewe to Go (basically a Tesco Express) over the road, so we popped in for a sarnie. There were a few dodgy characters who were definitely on the rob, but the staff were clearly used to this and they followed them like a hawk (I initially thought it was us they were following so was getting ready to kick off 🤣)

The walk back to the hotel was also an interesting one. To quote one website – “around the station, drug dealers can be found. Avoid drunken, strange-looking or aggressive people, particularly at night”. Mark has seen many sights on his night shifts around Birmingham, but he has never seen anything like that before! To think we had planned to stay here for a few days.. thank god for covid!

Cologne 🇩🇪

The morning started with another big breakfast; a classy European feast in Funk Haus. Multiple plates of meats, cheeses, breads and fruit – what more could you want! The OJ was even served in wine glasses.

The first place you have to visit in Cologne is its magnificent cathedral; said to be Germany’s most visited attraction and the tallest twin spired church in the world. It’s free to enter so a walk around the inside is definitely worth it to see the impressive interior and stained glass windows.

The next must do in Cologne is walk across the Hohenzollern Bridge – the busiest railway and pedestrian bridge in Germany. Also famous for the ridiculous amount of padlocks attached to it! The views of the cathedral on the other side are fantastic. Whilst on this side of the bridge it is definitely worth heading up the Cologne triangle for 360° views of the city.

Due to no cafe at the top of the triangle, and us always being hungry, we headed to the Lindt cafe for a hot chocolate and cake. There is an option to go around the chocolate museum, however once you’ve done Cadbury World.. you’ve basically done them all 😉

It was then time to check out the markets, and Cologne has loads to offer as they are dotted all around the city. All of them offer something slightly different and there are plenty of activities to enjoy, such as ice skating and curling. This market experience was all about cheese – we had raclette and cheese and mushroom panini topped with sour cream. We were treated to a brass band playing Christmas music and it was just a lovely atmosphere.

As we were walking back to the hotel we heard some interesting music coming from a pub, so decided to head in to see what it was all about. It certainly was interesting! Papa Joe’s Jazz Lokal was full of bizarre pictures of naked women, quirky antiques and musical marionnetes that will play a tune for some cheeky Euros. We had no idea what was being played half the time, but the German’s were singing along and having the best time. Mark got his first stein of the trip, which was half froth! The perfect way to finish today was a trip to Maccies to add to our World Tour – shrimps and peppered chips. Absolutely delish.

We’ve really enjoyed Cologne! There’s enough tourist attractions to keep you going for a few days, loads of bars and restaurants, 100s of shops and the Christmas markets were just magical.

Düsseldorf 🇩🇪

In December 2020 we had planned a festive mini break to Frankfurt – but covid had other ideas. We then planned the trip again for December 2021, but Frankfurt decided to massively scale back their market due to covid. So this year came, and we thought sod it – let’s do a trip around Germany and visit multiple markets! Over the next 8 days we will be starting in Düsseldorf and finishing in Munich, with a cheeky nip over the border into Austria.

As our flight was a late one from Manchester, we decided to kill time by going to the Trafford Centre first. We had totally forgotten that the Black Friday sales were on, so parking was an absolute nightmare! It was a treat however to see Troy from ‘The Greeters Guild’ getting everyone into the festive spirit. We arrived at Manchester Airport far too early (see Steve.. I’m learning!) but being an evening flight the check in area and security was absolutely dead. That was until we got into the pub on the other side where all the fans from Wales were sat having a drink before their flight to Doha.

The flight to Düsseldorf was super speedy, and from landing to getting bags was only 20 minutes! It was far too late to explore so it was straight to bed ready to see the city the following day.

We are both lovers of a good breakfast and online recommendations suggested 7 Sundays – a recommendation we will also now give as it was absolutely delicious. It became apparent that Düsseldorf is a very quiet city as there was hardly anybody about! We also very quickly learnt the etiquette of waiting for the green man at a crossing, even if there is no traffic at all.

Towering above the city is the Rhine Tower, which gives fantastic views for miles. We could clearly make out the skyline of Cologne- our next destination. Another bonus is the cafe at the top, so it would be rude to not try one of the cakes on offer. Mark being the big football fan he is meant we had to make time for the England game, so we found an Irish pub (we’ve found that they’re usually the best atmosphere for sporting events) and settled in with a beer, gin and watched the boys win. Lovely assist from Callum Wilson 😉

It was then time to try out what we had come for – the markets! At the end of all the blogs we will rate the markets in order. Like the rest of the city, the markets were really quiet, but this meant no queues! Every cloud.. The plan is to try as much different foods as possible, so we started with reibekuchen with apple sauce. It was absolutely delicious 😋 and I 100% recommend getting one of these at a German market. We also had that German classic, Thai chicken soup 🤣 washed down with Glühwein (which we plan on drinking plenty of this trip). After watching the ice skaters and a few more beers it was time for the next course – crepes, smothered in Nutella obvs.

After a ridiculously long day it was time to catch the train to Cologne. Armed with our valid tickets we were confident that there was no reason for a telling off as we travelled on the U-Bahn.. wrong! A very angry policeman banged on the window with an aggressive finger wag as we hadn’t even noted that the rest of the train were all wearing masks 😷Research suggested that German trains are easy to navigate and always on time.. also wrong! After delays and platform changes we eventually got on the right train to Cologne.

Naples… eventually 🇮🇹

It’s our last day 😭 This morning we were all ready to tackle the local train to Herculaneum, enjoy a leisurely stroll there, head to Naples on the train and then back to Sorrento later this evening. This is however how our morning went…

  1. Arrive at the train station to be informed there is a strike until at least 1pm. When we were talking to the guide yesterday about getting the train, at no point did she mention this!
  2. Walk to get a boat ticket for 12pm boat to Naples. Everyone else had clearly done this too as this boat was sold out.
  3. Walked to an excursion office to try and book onto the trip to Vesuvius – this was cancelled.
  4. Debated bus to Ravelo but another couple in the group did this a few days ago and struggled to get back to Sorrento and paid €80 for a taxi.
  5. Walked back to train station to assess.. at 12pm the queue for tickets was at least a mile long. Decided if trains did decide to run they would be packed.
  6. Ordered tickets online for 2pm boat to Naples and 5:15pm return. Time to plan super quick whip around Naples.

We had already got 10k steps in by midday! As we had a few hours to kill before the boat we decided do the last mooch of Sorrento. The city walls close at 1pm so we’ve always missed our chance to go, but today we managed to explore them. Although it’s only a very small section of the wall you actually get to walk on, it’s still worth it even to get a better perspective of the local life going on below. We also found a little garden full of fruit trees that we seem to have missed, even though we’ve walked by 100s of times.

All the other boats we have been on have offered an inside and outside deck and we’ve always opted for the outside as the views are amazing. This however was very obviously a commuter boat, but being at the front of the queue (Momma does not like to be late) meant we got pick of the seats, so we chose the front to get views out the front and side windows. Unfortunately this was also where people had to store their luggage, so we ended up with a fantastic view of everyone’s cases instead!

Case Tetris got worse than this…

Finally at 2:45pm we arrived in Naples, giving us just over 2hrs to whip round and explore. You 100% need so much more time here. It’s not a city you can do in such a short amount of time as its the third largest in Italy. We headed for Galleria Umberto – an enormous shopping area with a domed glass and steel roof. It was here that I was finally able to add Italy to my Maccies World Tour (there’s approx 100 counties with one and I’ve now ticked off number 25 🍟🍔)

A short walk from here, and an ideal if you’re short on time is Piazza del Plebiscito and The Royal Palace. The Palace grounds are huge however and you’d certainly need more than the 5 minutes we had to properly take it all in.

The last area we had time to explore was the Spanish quarter, one of the city’s most densely populated areas. This is probably where Naples gets its reputation for being dirty and full of dodgy characters, but I quite liked wandering the streets and seeing washing hanging from all the balconies, the graffiti and hidden taverns. You do however need eyes in the back of your head as locals literally fly around the streets on their scooters.

After a quick look at the castle it was back to the boat to head back to Sorrento for our last supper. I have to say, although the portion sizes have been questionable, our small but quirky family run hotel have delivered fantastic flavours (and tonight was one of the meatiest sausages I’ve ever had!)

Alarms are set for stupid o’clock tomorrow to get the bus back to the airport (at least we’re not relying on trains!) We have had a fantastic week with gorgeous weather, gorgeous food and beyond gorgeous wine. Santa has enjoyed a daily Tennants (or 3) and Momma has enjoyed taking 1000s of photos 📸 As long as you can put up with crowds, people with no concept of queuing and the odd twitchy arse road, then the Amalfi Coast is definitely one to add to your list 😍

Capri 🇮🇹

This morning we woke up to a cooler temperature which is far more common for this time of year here. We’ve been so lucky with the weather so far (such a British thing to say!) however rain is forecast for tomorrow, so you all know which important item will be packed!! Today promised to be one of the highlights of the trip and we all excitedly boarded the boat ready for a full day exploring Capri. First impressions – wow this place is beyond busy! Our group started the day in Anacapri, much higher up the island. We boarded the minibus and took the crazy road up to the top where we got our first beautiful viewpoint.

As it’s the definitely the law when you come to Capri to go on the chair lift, and as the queue was relatively short, we jumped on for the gentle 15 minute ride to Monte Solaro – the highest peak on Capri. Here you get 360° views and when the cloud eventually disappears.. they are stunning. Using public toilets anywhere requires payment, usually 50c, however the ones here were €1. I was therefore expecting world class facilities. I have used many dodgy toilets on my travels, however these have got to be one of the worst! Paddling my way through piddle and paper to get to the toilet, a stench to nearly knock you out, no locks and nearly getting exposed to the whole queue, I recommend you hold on! Wouldn’t even give these 1* on TripAdvisor 🧻

Saw this… made me laugh as I’m immature. New Stars Wars character maybe? 🤣

As we love a viewpoint, and Capri is full of them, we headed to Augustus Gardens. Here you can see Via Krupp – the historical hairpin turn paved footpath, built for a ridiculously wealthy German who wanted an easier route down to his boat from his ridiculously expensive hotel room (or as it also turned out, the route to a secret grotto for sex parties!) You can also get fantastic views of The Stacks (Faraglioni). I would happily have spent much longer here as it was an escape from the mental streets a short walk from the gardens, however as ever coach tours = tight time schedules.

Capri is constantly visited by celebrities – JLo was there last month dancing on the tables apparently! So we headed to the street with all the designer and luxury boutiques in the hope of spotting somebody exiting. As it’s one of the most concentrated areas of fashion boutiques in the World, the walk doesn’t take long at all. Unfortunately we didn’t spot anyone, although someone from our group was convinced they had spotted Richard Gere!

It was then time for the fun part.. finding somewhere for lunch. We found a lovely cafe overlooking the sea, but Santa nearly fell off his chair when they told him a small bottle of Peroni was €10. Basically, you need to sell a kidney for a day on Capri! We did however enjoy a lovely pizza and focaccia.. and a coke zero. We had one last mooch around the streets and a quick stop at the beach before it was time to get the boat back to Sorrento. Capri wasn’t quite how I imagined it to be.. don’t get me wrong I still enjoyed it, but I really don’t get the hype. Luckily we were there when it was a quieter period as I dread to think how awful it would be to try and walk anywhere in the height of the summer.

As creatures of habit, this evening was back to one of our favourite bars to watch the sunset. Due to the amount of cloud the sunset was non-existent, however we were treated to an unexpected firework display and I had a lovely glass of local wine 🍷

Terrible photo 🎆

Portion sizes are slowly improving…

Could potentially be a difficult sleep tonight… neighbours are on the balcony, post sesh, munching on crisps and singing to George Ezra 😬

Amalfi Drive 🇮🇹

This morning was another super early get up ready for a day of driving and exploring. We had a taster of the Amalfi Drive when we took the bus to Positano, but today we travelled much further along, nearly completing the 50km of twists and turns. Luckily we were sat down for this one and not being flung around the bus, however Momma decided to sit on the side with the sheer drop, making the whole journey extra twitchy as one wrong move would send us plunging into the sapphire Tyrrhenian Sea far below. Thank god for Giuseppe the expert bus driver 👍🏻

Our first stop today was the town of Amalfi. I’ve seen loads of people walking around with giant lemons eating sorbet out of them, so I set out to find one. Luckily there are shops everywhere in Amalfi that sell them! Unfortunately I got far too excited and ordered 3 without asking how much they actually were. I was buzzing with my bargain when I was convinced he had said €13, however it became very apparent when I gave him €20 and he just stared at me like I’d just shat on his sorbet, that he had actually said €30. That’s €30 for a bit of sorbet wedged in a giant lemon 🍋 whilst it was actually very refreshing, the heat made it melt super quick so I ended up with incredibly sticky fingers (and toes as half of it dripped into my flip flop)

Back to Amalfi itself.. and it’s a gorgeous part of the coastline full of bars, cafés, shops and a big cathedral. You can catch a boat here if you don’t fancy taking on the Amalfi Drive (also FYI… its highly advised that tourists DO NOT hire a car and do it themselves!) There is a lot of hustle and bustle, but it continues with the tradition of pretty colourful buildings wedged into a tiny amount of space, with a maze of streets and passageways.

The next leg was by boat as we headed to Maiori, and it was apparent how many others don’t appreciate the British love of a queue. There is always a constant battle to be on the correct side of the boat, and Momma who was armed with her Nikon made sure nobody else pushed in, meaning we got a seat on the left hand side of the boat – the side with the views.

Maiori is much less touristy – it has a lovely beach and a gorgeous church with a colourful domed roof. It’s also very flat making it a much more accessible place. We decided to get some lunch and stopped in one of the cafes – Santa asked for a beer and the waiter came out with a cake instead! This was our sign to move on and we stumbled across a ‘pub’. This was evidently a local pub for local people, but they sold Peroni so this is where we stayed. The food was actually very nice and very reasonably priced (lunch inc beer was cheaper than all the lemons 🍋) but Santa decided all the local pigeons looked peckish, and lobbed some of his sarnie to their waiting beaks.

Once back in Sorrento, we made the long trek to the supermarket to stock up on Coke Zero, Tennants and Milka cookies for when we fancied a snack. We went for our obligatory sunset drinks and headed back to the hotel for dinner. Momma decided on the vegetarian option which was described as lettuce and tomato salad – she should have learnt from the cucumber salad in Croatia! Pudding was grapes 🍇 Santa was sad they weren’t squashed and in a bottle!