Hạ Long Bay 🇻🇳

Before we left Ha Giang for the long slog back to Hanoi, I had a text from the manager of the hotel we were going back to offering us one of his other hotels. Due to our main luggage being at the original hotel and being picked up for Ha Long Bay from there the following day , it was a thanks, but no thanks. Turns out whoever was in the room we were due to have had the shits 👍🏻 so we agreed and arranged to have our luggage taken to the new hotel. We now had the job of letting the company know for Ha Long Bay that we had moved hotels and needed picking up from a new location. We kept thinking of all the things that could go wrong.. but luckily, nothing did! The drive back to Hanoi was nothing like our VIP bus. We were squashed into a minibus where the bloke in front of me reclined so much I couldn’t actually move my legs. They then piled bags and boxes so nobody had any chance of escape should we need it. We stopped at the same wee stop as previous (actual PTSD) and had to try and climb over all the crap they had piled in the minibus. Mark kept his shoes on, and the driver was NOT HAPPY 😬🤣 after grabbing some food, we headed back to the original minibus. Thankfully, Tu was with us, as they had taken all our bags off and put it on another minibus! As there were already lots of people on there, we were split, meaning Mark got the rear, and I got the front seat – which in Vietnam is absolutely beyond terrifying!

We arrived out the outskirts of the old town as buses can’t go in during the weekend, and set on our way to find our new hotel. This part of Hanoi seemed a little more seedy than what we had previously been in and it was also raining, so we couldn’t wait to get back. Luckily when we got there, they knew we were coming and our bags were already in the room. We were also given 30% off in their sky bar. It was just a shame we couldn’t see anything due to the heavy rain.

The following morning was a mad rush to try and pack, which was proving quite difficult with our newly purchased warm clothes and minimal space. This meant we had 5 minutes for breakfast, the usual Vietnamese cuisine and spag bol 🤷🏼‍♀️ we were picked up in a very posh minibus and began the 3-hour drive to Ha Long Bay.. in the rain 👍🏻we stopped for a break where I was surprised to find a lovely clean toilet with toilet roll! We decided to pay a bit more for a luxury cruise for the trip to Ha Long Bay, as a lot of reviews for the cheaper ones really aren’t great. And we’re so glad we did as the room and the boat were amazing.

We headed for lunch and had a delicious buffet. The staff were so friendly and helpful, pulling chairs out, pouring drinks, and doing your napkin. I thought they might start feeding me at one point! We popped back to the room before the excursion to Cat Ba Island, and Mark had a little call of nature. Unfortunately, because the window is so big, the toilet is opposite, and the other boats pass by quite closely.. it was a poo with a view.. for both parties! We headed to Trung Trang cave on Cat Ba Island; known as one of the typical and largest caves for the cave complex in Cat Ba Biosphere Reserve. It’s full of stalactites glittering under the dim light and incredibly low passageways that Mark thoroughly enjoyed crawling through. Our boat had a large group of mature people from India who insisted on taking pictures of themselves literally every 2 seconds. It was quite amusing at first, but then it just became super annoying as we were constantly having to wait for them 🙄

It was then back to the boat for happy hour. We spotted a couple where the man had a t-shirt saying, “I like it when you tell me you want me,” with a picture of his wife in a bikini on it, and giant wooden clogs.. as in the ones you buy from Amsterdam that are big enough to be a decorative wall piece. On the boat next door was a woman in a red dress, wafting around, making the person she was with get all the pics for the Gram. It really is the best for people watching! We had a cooking class, where we learnt how to make spring rolls. Unfortunately, I didn’t make my rice paper damp enough, so it was a bit chewy, and we enjoyed a happy hour of 241 cocktails.

At dinner we decided to treat ourselves to a bottle of wine, and was recommended one by the waiter. After dinner when we were looking at the cocktail menu again I thought I’d check which wine we had as it was delicious. It then dawned on me that I didn’t read all the 0s on the price list, and it turned out to be 2,200,000vnd.. which is around £78.. surely it must be an expensive bottle anyway! A quick Google check however revealed its actually a tenner in Tesco (or £8.50 with clubcard) We were then offered the chance to go squid fishing, and if anyone caught a squid you got a free beer. As we are now poor we decided to give it a go. We could see them swimming around but unfortunately nobody caught a squid. The closest anyone got was me making a squid squirt – I’m sure not many of you can say that 🤣🦑

Emergency jumper – the ones we could find had ‘inspirational quotes’ on 🤣

In the evening we were due to have a facial (which we had booked prior to expensive wine) the Indian group however fannied about so much (probably taking more photos) that our treatment got delayed by 45 minutes!! No apology from them when they came out cackling away 🙄 it was a lovely facial until the end, when they sat us up and basically beat us up by thumping us in the back. We were all relaxed and ready for bed, and I was looking forward to a nice sleep in.. until the super load Americans next door decided to talk waaaay too loudly on their balcony at 6 am about the speed of the WiFi being better because everyone was asleep… Well, not now they’re not!! We joined in with the kayaking after breakfast, which was great being able to see all the rock formations up close.

Ha Long Bay is an absolute must if you come to Vietnam. Come and see the 1,600 islands and islets, forming a spectacular seascape of limestone pillars. Because of their precipitous nature, most of the islands are uninhabited and unaffected by a human presence. It’s so beautiful, and the photos really don’t do it justice.

Having their 100000th photoshoot 📸

Day 9 – The Snæfellsnes Peninsula 🇮🇸

We were in for another day of clocking up the miles, so after a couple of pots of Skyr and a bowl of frosties, we prepped the flasks with plenty of coffee and hit the road to get us back out the Westfjords. On the drive yesterday we spotted a shipwreck, but we’re unable to get a closer look due to someone blocking the entrance to the parking area, however today it was empty so we had a quick investigate. It is thought to be the oldest steel ship in Iceland and has been at this location since 1981. It is now in a bit of a sorry state and is far too unsafe to actually get on, but it still makes for some dramatic photography.

We left the Westfjords and headed to familiar territory for me.. the Snæfellsnes Peninsula. It was also time for another diesel run, and again the PAYG pump refused my card.. such a pain! It was therefore only right that to ease the stress, we got a service station hottdog 🌭 The first stop on the peninsula was Kirkjufell, said to be the most photographed mountain in the country. Again another GoT location – Beyond the wall from season 7. It’s distinctive shape and Kirkjufellsfoss at the front makes the whole area very dramatic.

Next stop was Saxhóll crater, which was much easier reach the top in comparison to the crater earlier in the week. The landscape it has created is incredible and the views over the mossy lava fields below are mind-blowing.

As the peninsula is a relatively small area, there is so much you can see and do in a day, and so our next stop was an ancient fishing village called Hellnar, with views over to Mt Stapafell. Some Icelanders believe this place is a favourite for elves! It’s the perfect place to sit with a picnic (when the weather allows) and watch the world go by. There is also the option to do a coastal walk to the next village – Arnarstapi, however as we both exhausted we decided to just drive it instead.

It was back to the van for our next stop, a giant crack you can see from the road. Rauðfelsdsgja gorge is easily accessible in the summer months and is a short hike from the car park. It’s another small scramble to get into the gorge itself, but its well worth the potential soggy shoe. On our way back to the van we noticed a group of people, and one of them dislocated his shoulder! Luckily the ambulance was just pulling up (although who knows where the nearest A&E is 🤷‍♀️) so Mark didn’t have to jump in and be a hero.

Our last stop on the peninsula was the black wooden church Búðakirkja. Located within a lava field, it is a fantastic building to photograph whatever the weather. I have been here twice and both times have been totally different and I can’t decide which conditions I prefer. Again it’s another peaceful location and somewhere you could spend all day exploring the surroundings.

Tonights base is another campsite overlooking the sea in the town of Akranes. Whilst doing the washing up we spotted the campsites local resident curled up on top of the dryer getting shelter from the rain. After a quick fuss it was back to the van to get some sleep before our last full day in Iceland 😭

Day 8 – The Westfjords 🇮🇸

This morning was a slightly earlier start than usual as we were in for a long day of driving. The Westfjords was somewhere we were both keen to visit, as only around 10% of visitors actually make it here due to its vastness and distance from the main ‘tourist attractions’. Its also only somewhere you can visit during the summer months, as the roads are a lot less maintained and snowfall is incredibly heavy during the winter. The scenery here is beyond stunning but there are very few places to pull over and actually admire it properly. We did manage to find one, however Mark was very quickly attacked by a group of Arctic Tern (a very angry bird!) and after running around the van a few times, he decided that they had won and returned to safety. After a bit of research, it turns out that they are notorious for attacking people, and scratching you with their talons!

Pre attack 🦅

Our first proper stop of the day was the mighty Dynjandi waterfall, which means thunderous, and is often referred to as the jewel of the Westfjords. It’s also known as the bridal veil falls due to its distinctive shape. Thanks to a group of volunteers, it’s so easily accessible from the car park meaning more people can enjoy the beauty. It is definitely one of our favourite falls and the photos really don’t do it justice. As a treat, there are also 6 smaller falls on the way up to Dynjandi, making it a foss heaven 💦

Driving the Westfjords involves lots of arse twitchy twisty roads that are full of potholes, so this is something to bear in mind if you want to add it to your trip. As the area is so big we had to decide what was most important to see, and as we hadn’t yet done a ‘side of the road hot spring’ we chose to add this to the itinerary, and headed to Krosslaug. It’s well hidden and Google promised minimal people know its location. Turns out the day we went, lots of people found it! But it was still so lovely to sit and enjoy the views with a cold drink to hand. The only small issue was when I went back to get changed, I found a pair of someone else’s knickers in my shoe!

Home for this evening was probably one of our favourites so far as it had a waterfall and a ‘normal’ coloured beach, which is very rare for Iceland. We fired up the BBQ tonight because it was just too nice not to, and had yet more hot dogs with crispy onion and that fabulous sauce. As Rauðisandur beach was right next to the campsite, we decided to have a midnight sun walk to enjoy the sound of the crashing waves, whilst looking on at the moody clouds over cliffs in the distance.

Day 6 – The North 🇮🇸

We woke to drizzly morning, and after the daily chores of moving cases and putting the bed back to seats, we headed to our first stop – Hverfjall. This tuff ring volcano was created about 2,500 years ago, and has an incredibly impressive crater approximately one kilometre in diameter. The walk to the top is pretty hard going due to the loose surface, but when the rain and mist cleared we were treated to views for miles. There were a few groups heading down into the crater, but as they were equipped with poles and the proper gear, we decided it wasn’t worth joining them.

A rare treat for this trip was the next stop was literally 5 minutes down the road. The Grjótagjá cave features a beautiful geothermal hot spring which cannot be used to swim in to try and protect this unique pool from damage. There are lots of stories and legends surrounding this cave, however it was ‘that scene’ with Jon Snow and Ygritte in GoT that prompted our visit. The lad chose well!

During the drive to Mývatn last night we noticed lots of steam coming from an area, so again as it was close we decided to check it out. The smell of egg in the air is overwhelming thanks to the sulphur, but if you can handle that, you’re treated to smoking fumaroles and boiling mud pots.

Our final leg today was to Húsavík, made famous by the fantastic Eurovision film Fire Saga 🤣 and definitely not because it’s the Whale capital of Iceland.. by this point we were starving, so chose to eat at JaJa Ding Dong cafe (named after one of the songs from the film) and enjoyed some pizza whilst overlooking the sea.

We hadn’t planned on going Whale Watching, but with a 98% success rate we decided to give it a go. We were given super thick all in one suits to keep warm and headed to the rib boat. We were joined by just 2 other couples, meaning it was like having our own private tour. The bloke in front was the spitting image of Richard Attenborough in Jurassic Park, who half way through the trip had the audacity to stand up out of his seat and fart really loud!! We were literally sat directly behind him.. filth! Very soon after leaving the radio went telling the captain of a sighting, and we had our first glimpse of a humpback whale, which was amazing.

We had also booked the tour that included seeing Puffins, so we headed to the island where they’ve made it their home. Just like Skomer, there were 1000s of them, and being able to see them up close swimming around and diving for fish was so cool.

As we still had loads of time left we went further out to sea to see if we could see anymore whales. We were there a while and hadn’t seen anything, but just as we were about to give up and head back, we spotted a spouting, and then came the most incredible experience of seeing 4 humpback whales. It really was the most fantastic thing. As we were heading back there was a really loud bang and the rib boat stopped, and we were all convinced we would be stranded with the whales! It turns out there was a huge log which the boat had hit, which was very likely to be from a tree.. but also could have been from what one of us had produced with our terrible diet of car snacks and pasta 🤣

The drive to our next campsite was another scenic one. The light here, especially very late evening is just magical. We arrived at the huge site and found a place to park up, however it turns out it’s a favourite with gulls, who spent the next hour shagging on and sharting down the van!

Day 5 – Entering the North 🇮🇸

This morning we woke up and decided to try some Icelandic food, so after a shower in water that was at least 1000°, we headed to the local N1 for a hotdog – the best way to start the day. They’re topped with raw white onions and crispy fried onions, ketchup and a sweet brown mustard called Pylsusinnep – this sauce is the DB and we will definitely be using our remaining weight limit to bring plenty of bottles home 🌭

Sausage surprise

After gobbling on our sausage, we drove to our first stop of the day – Stuðlagil Canyon. Unfortunately we read the AllTrails wrong, and ended up in the campsite car park rather than the canyon car park, which happened to be on the other side of the canyon.. so it was back in the van to find the correct car park. By this point the beautiful weather we had been having had decided to leave, and the wind and rain had arrived. The wind was so bad that within minutes my face was brown from all the dust that had been blown into it. It was even stuck to our teeth! After battling the elements we finally arrived at the canyon – The basalt columns tower over a turquoise glacial river, making it one of the most stunning places we’ve been. We decided to climb down to the bottom using a rope that someone had kindly installed, and we were rewarded with a much more spectacular perspective.

As we arrived back to the van, the wind had died down and blue sky was peeking through the clouds, which meant we should have had a glorious drive to Dettifoss. The majority of the drive was glorious, but we decided to do the East side of the falls as you get much closer to it. The road leading to this side however was one of the worst roads we have driven on, and I thank God for a decent pelvic floor. It was 30km of unmaintained gravel, boulders, volcanic rock and anything else you can think of. Although we did make it (about 30 mins extra to what Google Maps says) the van isn’t built for speed on these types of roads, so we were left in the dust of the Dacia Dusters that flew past. We eventually got to the car park and began the walk to the falls. As it’s one of the most powerful in Europe, we could hear it way before we could see it. The thunderous fall has an average water flow of 193 meters cubed per second (6,186 cubic feet). It is 100 meters (330 feet) wide and plummets 45 meters (150 feet) down. It really is mind blowing.

Soggy

After visiting Dettifoss, we decided to extend the walk and head to the often overlooked Selfoss. There is a town in the South also called Selfoss which we nearly drove all the way to thinking it was the waterfall! The walk involves a bit of clambering over boulders but it’s nothing too strenuous, and again we were rewarding with another amazing waterfall.

Walking back to the van we had one thing on our mind.. we had to tackle that road again. Luckily it seemed slightly easier on the way back, but still not one we want to drive on again any time soon. As we’ve done so much walking on this trip we decided we were due some relaxation, so headed to Mývatn Nature Baths, the Northern equivalent to the blue lagoon. Floating around in hot water, with mountains in the distance and beverage in hand.. what more could you want. It was the perfect end to the day, and luckily our planned home for the night was only 5 minutes way.

Campsite views taken at 01:30

Day 3 – The Southeast 🇮🇸

We woke up to another glorious morning and started the day with an Icelandic tradition – a communal shower bollock naked! The first campsite had cubicles however this one was very much everyone in and let it all hang out. It was one for males and one for females fortunately. After a cheeky wash we decided to treat ourselves to breakfast in the converted school bus on the campsite. The bagels and proper coffee definitely set us up for the way, although like everything else in Iceland, incredibly pricey.

Bagel bus

The first stop of the day was Fjaðrárgljúfur canyon. At 2km deep and 100m it’s incredibly impressive! I decided to buy a drone for the trip, however buying one for 40 quid off eBay rather than spending a bit more for a decent branded one was a massive mistake as the instructions are in Chinese and we cannot work out how to make it fly! So I sat and watched a man with his definitely expensive drone fly it into the canyon instead (I’m not jealous.. honestly!)

Whilst driving around Iceland you need to keep your eyes peeled at all times as there’s often places to stop on the side of the road, and we came across a fabulous little waterfall. The one downside to having a minibus sized vehicle is you can’t just whip it easily into the often tight spaces on the side of the road.

Our next stop was another waterfall, and the drive to it meant we got our first glimpse of the spectacular Vatnajökull National Park. In 2019 the park was given UNESCO status which meant I had another to tick off my expanding list. The walk to Svartifoss definitely got the heart rate going, but it was a great little falls and the ideal place to sit and have a thermos of coffee. We obviously chose the best time as there was hardly anybody else at the falls for the majority of the time, meaning we got to properly take in the beautiful surroundings.

If one canyon wasn’t enough, we decided to hike to another! Múlagljúfur Canyon isn’t signposted so getting to the car park can only be done after a bit of research, and what a hidden gem it is! The hike to the top is pretty hard going. At one point I didn’t think I’d be able to carry on (mostly because we’d already walked about 26000 steps) and my tired little legs felt like lead.. but once we got there – words cannot describe the view 😍 it was beyond stunning, even with the rain, and so so worth it. We then met a very enthusiastic American man who suggested we climbed a bit further, saying the view is like you’ve had ‘a big bang of coke’ so with that, we carried on. I can’t say if the view is a comparison to a coke hit, but I can say it was like you were looking into another world.

As it was now pretty late we decided to find a campsite, not realising the closest one was miles away. So we decided to make good use of the constant daylight and stopped at diamond beach. This gets its name due to the icebergs which fill the Jökulsárlón glacier lagoon washing up on shore, creating a stark contrast with the volcanic black sand. We were also lucky as there was a rainbow, which meant we got some incredible images. As you usually associate the beach with hot weather, it’s so bizarre to see have lumps of ice washed up on the shore.

Opposite diamond beach is the lagoon itself, where the still blue waters are full of enormous icebergs. As it was now way past midnight and we could not be arsed to cook, we sat down with a carbonara in a pot and enjoyed the fantastic scenery, as well as watching the seals swimming around – they have no idea how lucky they are that this is their playground.

We eventually arrived at the campsite just before 2am, so it was a quick set up and straight to bed ready for the day ahead.

Iceland day 1 🇮🇸

Back by popular demand… I will try to keep this going daily!

After months of planning, highlighting Lonely Planet guides, watching YouTube videos and trawling the Internet for inspo, the day had arrived for us to head to one of my favourite countries – Iceland!

Öxarárfoss Waterfall

It was another stupidly early start thanks to the joys of an airport at the moment. When we arrived and saw the queue for Easyjet we knew that would be our breakfast time gone.. however it turns out I had booked speedy boarding! This fabulous discovery meant we flew through. Unfortunately I hadn’t done the same for security, but in all fairness that was relatively smooth as well. So it was off to Pret for breakfast, via the Duty Free for a cheeky squirt (top tip.. find the most expensive perfume and cover yourself in the tester 🤣)

Geysir

On the plane and we had another discovery – extra leg room seats! Obviously Mark being the BFG was delighted. I was expecting to find I’d booked a meal with real china plates.. however as this is Easyjet I had to make do with a can of Coke and a Crunchie.

Gulfoss

The airport in Reykjavik was quite simply… a nightmare! Everyone was squashed in trying to get through a tiny gap in the wall to get up the stairs to passport control. Everyone was pretty chill about this.. apart from John (learnt his name thanks to his poor annoyed wife) John was quite simply.. a massive arsehole, who liked nothing more than to moan, try to push in and take people out with his big massive bag. We than had another wait for the cases, and it was a massive twitchy arse moment as mine decided to be one of the last off and I was getting myself mentally ready for the same pair of knickers for 10 days. TOP TIP for anyone heading to Iceland – buy your alcohol in the Duty Free in baggage reclaim.

Home 🏡

It was then off to meet our home on wheels for the next 10 days; the mighty green machine. After getting familiar with all his knobs and gadgets, we hit the road to start with the golden circle. This is a staple for all who visit Iceland and is well worth doing. As it was getting quite late, it was a lot quieter, so we really got to appreciate the beautiful surroundings a lot more. Geysir put in another wonderful performance and Gulfoss was as magnificent as ever.

Burger man

We found a lovely campsite for the night and decided to treat ourselves to a first night beverage in the bar. This will be our first and last if we don’t want to remortage the house 🤣 As its constant daylight here in the summer, we decided to have a super late tea and Mark fired up the BBQ around 22:30, where we enjoyed burgers and much more reasonable beer thanks to the duty free.

Midnight bounce

Dubai 6

Our last full day 😭 only a small maccies breakfast this morning because Friday in Dubai is brunch day!

This morning we had a lovely walk along the beach and did a spot of souvenir shopping before heading into Downtown Dubai for our big feast. Downtown is full of chic and rich people so I looked totally fabulous in my £10 Primark dress. We enjoyed cocktails with views of, you’ve guessed it, Burj Khalifa before heading to brunch.

The setting wasn’t quite what we were expecting; what it actually was was lots of skimpy dressed women with legs up to their armpits (I’m only jealous) trying to bag themselves a fella – people watching heaven. But we came for the food and that definitely delivered. As you all know I like my food 🤣 so it was only right that I quality controlled pretty much the whole lot. Get me that poo knife!

As it’s our last night here and we love a good sunset we jumped in a taxi and headed for Burj al Arab. It was absolutely stunning and this will definitely make it into our top sunsets. Momma took about 400 photos as shes now a NikonWanker. She also got sand thrown in her hair by some awful little cretins; if only it was allowed to teach them a lesson, but lets not get arrested on our last day.

Cases are all packed and ready to go for tomorrow. Dubai you’ve been amazing.

Dubai 5

This morning started off with the usual; a Maccies breakfast 🍔 where the staff greet us with ‘hello again’.. they must be thinking you big fat piggies 🐷

After our fill we headed to Dubai Miracle Garden, the worlds largest (obviously) natural flower garden and it’s a must do if you are here out of the summer season. Obviously we missed the bus by about a minute so had to take a taxi. The Emirates plane made out of flowers was a highlight and I did enjoy watching the many poses people decided to do next to it #candid              It was certainly a different garden visit to what we are used to.

Another taxi ride and onto Jumeriah Mosque where non-muslims are invited inside to learn about prayers and the religion itself. You’d be surprised but I actually found it quite interesting and I was very impressed with how spongy the carpet was – a treat for the feet.

This afternoon and evening was spent in one of our favourite places in Dubai, The Burj Khalifa. Until the end of March they do a light show, a smaller display to what you see at New Year and it was amazing to watch. They did one themed around Chinese new year a few hours later. The fountains are also great to watch, so had a few sessions of that as well. We actually ate in a proper restaurant tonight whilst enjoying the people watching around the base of the Burj.

As the Dubai Mall is full of posh shops it would be rude to not pop into Tiffany’s. However they clearly knew we couldn’t afford anything as our every move was watched.

 

Dubai 4

This girl is on fireeeee 🔥 we decided to spend the morning on the beach as we’ve had two very full on days. I’ve however failed as a ginger by not putting suncream on my legs and arse; I think you could probably fry an egg on them. Momma is just as bad!

This afternoon was the must do trip to the desert and it was fantastic. We drove over the dunes and watched the sun go down, rode a camel, ate far too much food, had a henna sesh, watched belly dancing then lay and watched the stars. It was the perfect end to the day. We also got to see Dubai’s impressive skyline as we drove back into the city.

It was nice not to have a maccies tea, although we did squeeze in a cheeky cake there earlier!